Megan is Missing. Disturbing.

I watched a movie Wednesday night that has not left my mind and will probably not leave it for a long time....if ever.
The movie is called 'Megan is Missing'.
It is so intense, so disturbing, and so eye-opening.

I love scary movies, I love movies based on true stories, I love true crime shows. I'm addicted to the ID Channel, shows like Snapped, Dateline: Real Life, 48 Hours Hard Evidence, etc....you get the idea! :)
But of all the movies, true crime tv shows, not one has ever made me really see how terrifying, sadistic, crazy, heartless, and just.....messed up people can be.

This movie is based on actual events of like 7 cases of child abduction. Kinda just rolled all into one. It's centered around two girls 13, and 14. Who of course, chat online and meet people, thinking everyone is honest and are who they say are. The 14 year old decides to meet up with a "17 year old boy" she had been chatted with.
Never to be seen again.
Then her 13 year old friend chats up the boy as well, trying to see if he knew what happened, if he had anything to do with it.....and happens to also disappear, just 3 weeks after the disappearance of her friend Megan.

The feeling of being invincible when you're young is an awesome feeling. You think you can take on the world, things happen to other people...but it will never happen to you.
I look back at myself, between the ages of 14-17 and thank God I'm alive. I cringe at the thought of the things I did, the things that could've happened to me, and some things that did happen...that never should have. Poor choices, being too trusting of "friends" and acquaintances, not thinking about consequences. It happens. And I suppose those types of mistakes have to happen to make you who you are. It's just scary to think about the bad situations that could've easily been way worse.
And I of course, think of my 15 year old son. Knowing I don't know all that he does. Knowing he's growing and making his own choices, knowing they will not always be the best choices. All I can do is pray and talk to him. I try to make him aware. He finds me annoying, but at least I know I've planted a seed. And maybe something, anything, will stick....and he'll stop and think for doing something too crazy.

Anyways....I got off subject, sorry! So, this movie has two parts that were horrifying to me. One where it shows two photos and says they are actual photos, then a video of a supposedly actual video that was found. I had a hard time believing that. But it was still so disturbing. I had to go online and see what I could read about it.

I found this website or blog which didn't give a lot of details, but apparently the director had commented on it. If you read through the comments and read the one posted by Michael Goi, he eased my mind by saying that it was not the actual footage.
All the same, it's still disturbing.

You know, you read about crazy stuff that happens and crazy stuff people do, but it doesn't ever really register. I mean, to me, it's heartbreaking and I feel for the parents or family, but the true evilness of people somehow doesn't exists in my mind. I know it's there, but maybe I choose to block out the really horrific parts.
No matter how many crazy scenes in movies or actual people talking about actual events on tv I've seen....none have ever had an impact as the last 20 minutes of this movie did.
Maybe because a part of my mind thought it may possibly be real footage.
But still, knowing it's not, but knowing it was based on actual events is heartbreaking.

I think every parent should watch this movie once. And once is enough. I really can't imagine anyone being able to sit through it twice.
Just know, it will stay with you, it will disturb you, it will make you sick to your stomach. But it will also make you aware. And maybe make you want to communicate a little more with your children.

random conversations

Couple weeks ago at McDonalds:

Drive Thru Lady: "Thank you. Come again!"
Me: "You too."

Last week at work:

Drug Rep: "Howdy."
Me: "Good."

Uhhhh........I like to think what people should say, then respond according to that. :)

Christmas Eve after opening presents:

Zac: "Mom, this says it was made in Italy."
Me: "Yep. Because it was...."
Zac: "I thought everything was made in China."

...he's so observant!

Yesterday at work, texts from Gage, home from a church camp-out.

Gage: "Mom. You locked me out of the house."
Me: "Awww, I'm so sorry!! I thought you didn't have your phone....did you get in?"
Gage: "Yeah. Through the doggy door."
Me: "Bahahahaha, I'm sorry. Good thinking, though."

.....about an hour later, Gage about to leave to go to his sister's.....

Me: "Hey, will you please feed Beauty before you leave?"
Gage: "I already did."
Me: "Look at you, being all responsible! :) "
Gage: "Somebody's gotta be."

....oh no, you didn't! haha.

Pictures

My friend Yarei was nice enough to come take pics of my boys, niece, and nephews for me!
They turned out really cute! :)

My nephew, Gavin, 4

My nephew, Jack, 4

My niece, Lucia, 10

My boy, Zac, 8 (will be 9 on January 16th!)

My boy, Gage, 15 (will be 16 on Feburary 27th *sad face*)

Jack and Lu

Zac and Gage

The Whole Gang!

Laughter and Tears this Christmas :)

Merry Christmas, everyone!!

I had a pretty good Christmas!
Yesterday (Christmas Eve), we went to my mom's. It was me and my boys. Leah and Dustin with their kiddos. Lacey with her boyfriend, Chris and sweetie pie son, Gavin. My mom and Mike, my grandma, my Aunt Lisa and her daughter, our cousin, Rachel.

We all made little finger foods to bring, opened presents, and of course, talked and laughed and talked and laughed some more.
I love my family! :)

I was surprised to see Christmas presents from both my boys this year!
I guess Zac's dad gave him some money to spend at school. They have the Santa's Workshop for kids every year.
Zac bought me this beautiful necklace!! ;)


So sweet!

A few weeks ago, when Gage went to visit his "sister", Kayla, he came back with this gift for me!
I love my boys. They are the sweetest!!!

So today, Christmas day, me and my boys went to Leah's for Christmas with my dad and little brother (I say little, but he's 18). It was nice to sit and talk with them.
Before they made it over, I told Gage to hold his new shotgun, so I could send a picture to his Mee Maw and Paw Paw.


He's so proud of it.
After taking this picture, we (me, Leah, and Gage) starting talking about how grown up he's getting. He had originally said he wanted an X Box for Christmas, but he changed his mind. He doesn't hang out inside much anymore. Leah said,"Well, because you're growing up. Shotguns, driving in a couple months...."
He was shaking his head yeah. And I started tearing up.
I had to walk away for a few minutes.
If you know me, you know I don't like crying in front of people! And that's what happened. I started crying.
My little boy is growing up. I can't believe he'll be 16 in February.
I think about it all the time nearly have panic attacks each time I think about him on the road....alone.
But something about today....just looking at this boy, that used to be my little man, stuck at my side....everywhere I went....he's grown up. In high school, driving soon, a new gun!, already talking about getting a job!
My heart is breaking. My first born....

Ok, sorry.....I didn't mean to go into all that.

So, earlier I said that Lacey and her boyfriend, Chris, were at my mom's yesterday.
Yes, yesterday he was her boyfriend.
But not last night.
As of last night.....he is her fiancee. OMG!
My little sister is getting married!!!!


Look at that beautiful ring!!!
I am so excited for her!!!
Another thing about me....if you know me...you know I'm pretty much anti-marriage....been there, done that, didn't like it.....
But I am happy for my little sister. She found a really good guy! He's wonderful with Gavin, goes to church, works, and he loves my sister.
I could go on and on about him, but I won't.
Let me just say, he's a special one. Lacey says he's her best friend, loves talking to him, and spending time with him.
And in the end, that's all that matters.
Because we all know that looks fade and sexual attraction diminishes.
But still having your best friend by your side, one who you can't wait to come home to and share your day with, someone you can see yourself growing old with, still laughing with and enjoying each other's presence :) Yeah, that's what it should be about. That's what I see for my little sister. And I'm so happy for her!

Tis the season....

To be disgusted by stupid men who think they're superior to women.

Ok, I know there are some good guys out there.....somewhere.
But my oldest son's dad is not one of them.
For the past six years, I've been mom and dad to Gage. Ever since his dad decided that he was weak, drugs were more important than his son, and that's the life he obviously wants to live.

My son is turning into a man. I may not be the best person to teach him how to do that, but I'm doing the best I can.
I was with him when he set up his very first checking account today.
I buy his clothes, his food, paid for his braces, taught him to mow the lawn, how to drive, and every other thing in between....no matter how big or small.
All me.
So, when he asks for a gun for Christmas, I am the one who has to go and buy it for him.
I consulted with my brother in law. I wanted to know what would be a good gun for him. His first gun, still fairly young, you know....all that stuff.
Lord knows I know nothing about guns.
After my brother in law suggested a 20 gauge, pump shot gun (for a first timer).....I went out to find one for my son.
Hello, Academy.
Hello, Asshole, who works behind the counter.

I may be a woman. I may know nothing about guns.
But that does not give you the right to treat me so rudely!

Tuesday, me and my sister went out to finish up Christmas shopping. When we walked up to the counter at Academy, there was no one around. The man came to help us out. We told him what we were looking for. He started to show us different varieties of what we were looking for.
Another man walked up and the guy at the counter just walked away. Without a word to us, and started helping the other MANLY MAN.
When he was done helping the man....who did NOT purchase anything....he came back to us. With disgusted and shocked looks on our faces.
Who does that?
So, we look at the guns. We find one we like, he hand me the paperwork I have to fill out. In the middle of him telling me what all I need to fill out, blah, blah, blah, two guys walk up together, talking about a scope that broke that needed to be replaced.
The guy behind the counter stopped mid-sentence, to walk away and help these men.
As he was helping them, my sister and I were debating on whether or not we wanted to walk out and go somewhere else.
But we already had the one we wanted. We just had to do the paperwork.
After helping the TWO MENLY MEN....who did NOT buy anything, he came back to us.

Did I mention that the first manly man that didn't buy anything ran into my sister with his cart as he was leaving? He was looking one direction and the cart was going in the other direction. We stepped back, but the cart hit Leah's hand. Did he apologize? Did he even acknowledge our existence?? NO!
What is wrong with these stupid men???

So, we finally finish the paperwork, find the bullets that go with it....with the help of the guy behind the counter pointing with his finger toward the direction of where we can find them and calling out the colors of the box to us.
rude.
Then he asks this other guy to take the gun up front to transfer it out of their name, into mine. The guy asks why he didn't ask the other guy. The other guy just came in and this guy is about to go to lunch.
asshole.
But he very nicely walks our gun to the front, all the while, ignoring us....like we do not exists.
We follow him all the way to the front, where he steps into a little glass office area.
He laughs and jokes with the manly men while we stand there wondering what the hell we're supposed to do.
About 5 minutes later, he walks out....without the gun, and walks past us....like we're non- existent.
My sister stops him and is like,"Uhh, what are we doing?"
Then he tells us that they're transferring, blah, blah, they will take the gun to the counter for us to pay for it, when they're done with that.
And he walks away.
That was it.

I was disgusted with men from that morning on. It seems like every man we came in contact with Tuesday were members of the He-Man Woman-Hating Club.
They are so superior.
Stupid women, trying to buy guns for their sons!
That's a MAN'S job!
Well, guess what fuck-face? THAT man who should be doing this, ran away from his responsibilities.
So, it's just me.
Give me a freaking break, will ya?

That was my Christmas experience rant.
;)