Happy Friday!!! :)

Here's a photo of my cute little puppies!!! They are almost 2 weeks old now! :)

They're just now opening their eyes! How freaking cute is that??

On another note......

Yesterday Zac's dad picked him up from school yesterday. So, I decided to go to Leah's to take a nap. Gage didn't get out of practice until 5 and I was exhausted.

So, I went to Lucia's room....her bed is so comfy! Full of blankets and pillows.....I turned on the blow dryer to blow on my feet. (I always do that when I lay down.)

Anyways, I was all comfortable....then I turn and what do I see??

This!

just staring at me.

I am scared to death of dolls. Seriously.

not cool.

Lucia, don't you think you're a little too old for dolls?

Gosh.

Just a Wee Bit

WEE BIT WEDNESDAY!

{one} have you ever seen a ghost?
Well, obviously.....
One night (when I was married) I woke in the middle of night and sat up in bed. I could see into the living room from my room. I saw Russ get up from the couch and walk past the bedroom door to the front door. I wondered what he was doing...if he heard something outside...
But then I realized, he was at the firestation, working. He wasn't even home!! I slowly got out of bed, tip toed to my door, peeked out....and saw nothing.
I jumped back in bed, covered up to my nose and eyeballed the living room for a long time before I fell back to sleep.
The end.

{two} when was the last time you dressed up for halloween?
The year before last. So, 2008. I was a flapper.

{three} what’s your favorite candy?
Oh, I don't know. I have to be in the mood to eat candy....and it's really not often that I am. But when I do want some, I usually want a Hershey bar and a jar of peanut butter to eat it with :)

{four} did you have a favorite costume growing up?
Yeah, a punk rocker! I was a punk rocker EVERY year when I was little. haha.

{five} did you carve pumpkins this year?
My boys and I carve pumpkins every year. We haven't yet this year though.....guess we better get started on that.

{six} what’s your favorite scary movie?
Ohhh, I have so many!! I love the scary, scary ones and I love the funny scary ones. I've always loved the Scream movies! I'm so excited to see Scream 4! Yes, they get more and more lame, the more they make...but that's the same with all sequels. I loved the first Scream and part 2 and part 3. I know I will love 4!
But I also love Paranormal Activity, The Strangers, The Omen, Rosemary's Baby, and of course, as mentioned in my previous post, Halloween.

{seven} haunted houses or corn mazes?
Haunted House!

{eight} are you superstitious?
I try not to be, but I catch myself sometimes. :)

{nine} have you ever owned a black cat?
We've owned every kind of cat you can imagine. Me and my sister used to find strays and bring them home!

{ten} what are you plans for this coming halloween?
Well, Saturday they're having a little carnival type thing (at the church) that they have every year. I usually take the boys with Leah and her kiddos. But apparently this year Gage is too old and Zac has a Halloween party to go to. :/
Sunday I am taking Zac trick or treating though! :)

A little visualness for you....

I haven't posted any pictures in a while....so I thought I'd share some today. :)

First of all, my kids wanted a "snack" from McDonalds after school today. I HATE McDonalds. I used to love McDonalds....but once you have kids, nope...no more.
Anyways...there is ONE thing I love at McDonalds. And of course, it's the one thing they give to you...then take away!!!
THE McRIB! Oh my gosh, I love those things!!! :)




Secondly....I have a question. Why do you think it is that EVERY single time I go to Zac's school to pick him, I HAVE to go pee? I absolutely HATE using a public toilet that 5 billion kids use a day. But I swear, everyday I am about to explode I have to pee so bad. This started last year. And I swear, not a day goes by that I don't have to pee when picking him up.
Do you think it's all in my head? I tried to tell myself it is and force myself to stay in the car...but then I feel like I'm going to die, if I don't just go pee.
weird.

Do you have kids? If you do, you know that there are a lot of things that you'll do for kids...that you normally wouldn't do. This is weekend, I'm doing something I so don't want to do. I mean, I really, really, really don't want to do this.

I'm taking Gage and James to see Jackass 3D. Ugh. The weekend before last, I tried to take them, but they weren't having any of that "I'll buy them the ticket and come get them after" stuff. Nooo, you have to actually GO TO the movie with them.

Ugh.

Yes, I'm going to see Jackass 3D on Saturday.

The things I do for my son and "second son"!

Yesterday I watched "Psycho". The original one. It's been a long time since I've seen it. And while there are parts of it that are pretty lame...it's still pretty freaking scary. I think I had nightmares last night!

I love scary movies though!! I love Halloween! The holiday...and the movie!!!
Halloween is probably in my top 5 favorite scary movies. The original one is sooo scary. The remake...oh my goodness.. It's just sick and twisted and scary and just....wow. Yeah, it really scared me. I saw it at the movie theaters when it came out. I loved it. It had been a while since I had seen it, so Gage and James wanted to see it. We went to Hastings and bought it. We came home to watch it,....and did I mention it's also a little awkward to watch with two 14 year old boys? Yeah...there's some nudy girls. haha. I was like.."Hide your eyes, boys!" haha. Yeah right.


Anyways, there was some just random blogging for you. I felt like I was getting a little too depressing for my blog friends. :)
Sorry about that...but that's just life....or maybe, just my life!

No rainbows...without a little rain. :)

I feel so lonely and out of the loop since moving!! I mean, I'm only 15 minutes out of town...but that's with no phone service...no internet service....nothing.
I can't catch up on Facebook or Blogger or even check my email.
This weekend SUCKED!!! We didn't get to do the Walk a Thon for the homeless, because it was one huge, long thunderstorm all weekend!
I didn't get to go to Benjamin's birthday party...because it was supposed to be at the park, but they changed it to Lauren's house. But I didn't get that text message until later that night....because I have no service!!!! Seriously? Ridiculous.
Seriously.
I was off work yesterday. We only had 5 patients. It was nice to be able to take my boys to school. I stayed up too late reading the Sookie Stackhouse books (True Blood, baby). So I got them up and ready and took them to school. Stopped by Starbucks to get a Skinny Vanilla Latte...yum....drove home and starting reading again. Fell asleep and didn't wake up until TWELVE O'CLOCK in the afternoon!!!
I haven't slept that long in for.ev.vor!!!!
Having the day off and catching up on my sleep, I was feeling it was a good day! Gonna be a good week even!!
wrong.
I picked up Gage from baseball practice...early. He got hit square in the forehead with a baseball. He was going to say something to the guy that threw it, but couldn't think of the guy's name! It came back to him. He had a pretty bad headache all day.
So, I got to set my alarm and wake up every 2 hours, to wake him up last night, to make sure he didn't have a concussion or something.
To add to it, Gage's dad's family was calling me about Billy.
They said he's doing really bad. I asked Gage if he'd heard from him anymore and he said he hadn't in a few days.
Apparently he's now smoking crack. He's stealing from his family, breaking into warehouses....living in hotel rooms with crack heads. What am I supposed to do about all of this? I'm done. I've had him put in jail, for child support. That's all I can do.
Right now I'm to the point where I want him out of my life and out of Gage's life for good. I don't know how much more Gage can take. I know I can't take much more.
Will everything just stop....just for a moment. I can't seem to catch a break, people!
Anywayssssss, the school nurse called from Gage's school today. He still has a headache. So, I had to leave work to pick him up.
I was going to go back to work, but I called my aunt Lisa (who's an RN) and she said it sounded like I needed to take him to the doctor.
Plus I was supposed to have a parent/teacher conference at Zac's school and pick up his report card. I had to call and cancel that...hopefully be able to reschedule that for a later date. So, I can take Gage to the doctor. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
I need a vacation. :)

Sooo, that's what has been going on in my world! I gotta go take Gage to the doctor now. I guess I can catch up on my blog reading while waiting at the doctor office!

Friday, woot woot.

I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday. It's been one heck of a week. I could use a little weekend in my life. :)
It's going to be a pretty busy weekend too, though. Cleaning house, doing laundry, cleaning out the backyard. Beauty decided to tear her pillow to pieces...stuffing is all over the backyard!!
Saturday me and my sister are doing a walk-a-thon for the homeless. We're raising money for thier Thanksgiving dinner. :) Then after that, we have Benjamin's birthday party! (My cousin, Bryan's boy). Sunday, church....and hopefully a lot of napping in between that stuff. :)
As mentioned in a previous post, one of the men in my life, driving me crazy...would be, Gage's dad. Yes, he's back. He's been MIA since about July. But he decided to come out of hiding to jack with his son's head again. So, I'm once again, trying to deal with this situation. Frustrating, heartbreaking, draining.
I got a flu shot today. My co worker threw up in the trash can behind me. gag. Gage wants a tattoo. I told him the only way he could get a tattoo before the age 18 is if it says "Mom". haha. I'd like to see that happen!
I had to get my car back from Jauque. :( My dad came and took it to sale. I felt bad, because she really needs that car. She had it for about 3 weeks, then he decided he wasn't giving me the title....he was going to sell it.
My co workers told me there was supposed to be a huge storm coming tonight...so I'm staying the night at my sisters. haha. I know, I'm a dork. But I've been a little bit of a chicken shit since moving. :)
But it's like 8:30...which is like 30 minutes AFTER my bedtime, so I gotta get off the computer! haha.
Plus Gage is begging me to let him on, so he can look up what he wants for Christmas.
Can you believe he wants a baseball bat, baseball glove, and a batting glove...it comes in a pack for like $175!!! Are you freaking kidding me??? That is ridiculous! Why..WHY must this stuff be so expensive?!?!
On the other hand, I'm very excited that he is loving baseball. :) I can't wait to go watch him play!
Alright, I'm out...ttyl.
;)

I'm just sayin'.

Somebody call the wahhhh-mbulance, because I was having myself a little pity party earlier. ;)
What's scarier than living in the country, leaving your house at 5:15 in the morning, with coyotes howling in the distance.
Leaving your 'in the middle of nowhere' house at 5:15 in the morning, with coyotes howling in the distance,......along with a thick, scary fog...so thick you can't see even like, a foot in front of yourself.
Seriously.
I think I watch too many scary movies to be living so far out. haha. But I still love it. It is peaceful. As far as not having annoying neighbors knocking on my door everyday....and that type of thing.

Jauque's in-laws live down the road from me, so I've been getting to spend a little more time with her. She comes over a few times a week, which is nice. :)
Leah and the kiddos came out Monday night and we cooked dinner. It's nice to have a house that is big enough to have company :)

Well, I better get off the computer. It's about time to head to church! :)

Holllla! ;)

When it rains, it pours...

And man, oh man....it sure is storming over here in my world. But ya know, I know it's all going to be ok, because everything always works out. And although I know that these two certain men in my life (or not in my life...or just there enough to cause pain in my life) will probably never change, I still know God has a plan. Everything happens for a reason. And while I know all of this, I still can't stop my worrying, wondering, crying. I wonder what else will be piled up on these shoulders....because everyday it's something new. A person can only handle so much before they just break. But, it's ok!! I know I won't be given more than I can handle!! :) I just needed to vent. So much so that I am...for the first time ever....blogging from my phone while waiting for Gage to get out of school :) And you know what?? Blogging on a cell phone sucks! :) Hope you all are having a better week than I am! word. :)

Happy Fall

Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin.
God lifts you up, takes you in,
and washes all the dirt off of you.
He opens you up, touches you deep inside
and scoops out all the yucky stuff--
including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc.
Then He carves you a new smiling face
and puts His light inside you
to shine for all the world to see.

Meet the puppies :)

Ok, I swear, I'm not going to constantly write about my puppies. But they're new...and they're just so freaking cute.

Plus Marianne wanted me to post pictures seperately, telling their names and how we came up with the names. :)

First one here, is the one my kids have decided they want to keep.

Gage fell in love with this puppy. She moves her little head side to side, trying to balance herself. I told Gage she looked like Stevie Wonder.....so, he calls her Stevie now. :)

This little puppy is a little fatty. We've started calling it fatty, because it was the biggest one and it's always eating. Well, the other night we came home and this pup had wandered all the way over by the fence....how??? I have no idea. He's a little Beast, that's how! haha. So, now this one is Beast....or Fatty. We call it both names. :)

This little one has a super big red nose, so of course, we call it Rudolph. I think it's ugly. The kids think it's soooo cute. This is the one that Lucia wants. She said she's going to rename it when she gets it. It's new name is going to be Lucita. Which is the name of a little orphan girl she met when she went to Mexico on a mission trip in July. She absolutely loved that little girl, so she's going to name her puppy after her. haha. :)

Zac named this little one. He wanted to name it Pumpkin, because they were born in the month of Halloween. Hello, duh!! haha.

This is Queso. Why? I don't have a story for that. We just thought it was a cute, funny name.

This poor little puppy doesn't have a name yet???? :(

Any suggestions? :)

By the way....we ARE getting rid of all these puppies in SIX WEEKS! All of them except Stevie. So....if you want a puppy....or know anyone that wants one.... :)

I'm in love! :)

Someday......

I swear I am going to get my internet up and running before too long. I've just had so much going on! For real.


Well, for starters....Beauty had her puppies!! They are so freaking adorable!! She's such a good mama!! She licks them non stop. It is so adorable.








Here are a couple postcards I received, that I love!!!





A handmade card that I absolutely loved! So cute!



From Mickey!! I love it! Psycho! Too cute! thank you, Mickey!!

So, Zac was supposed to have his doctor appt on Friday, but there was a mix up. He's rescheduled to Novemeber 4th. So, I will keep you updated. :)

Right now, me, my sis, her hubby, two kids, Gage, and James are going to eat at McBrides!! Yummy!!!

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!!!

week end review....

This is my sexy Edward cut out that Marianne bought for me for my 30th birthday. :) I love it. When I first got it, it used to scare me when I walked into a room. Like someone was just standing in my room..haha. But now I'm used to it.

But Friday night, I took a shower and when I got out, Zac had moved Edward right in front of the bathroom door. haha. Scared the crap out of me! :) He thinks he's so funny.

Annnnd, here's my new coffee mug that I told you I would post a picture of!! I love it!! True Blood, baby!! haha, ok, maybe you're not as excited to see it as I am to show it....but you know, I LOVE True Blood!! So I was super excited when I found this!

My new purse, that I also said I would share. :) I just love Hastings. And I love Halloween time!!

Saturday night, Leah's friend, Adrien's daughter had a slumber party at a hotel. We went to hang out for a little bit. Zac with a bubble mustache, after getting out of the hot tub. :)

We had a pretty good time. Had some wine, talked while the kids played.

Sunday I took Gage, Zac, Lucia, and Jack to the park. :)

Gage, watching the kiddos play.

Jack was digging for sharks.......don't ask me!..

Lucia and Zac, playing...but stopped to pose, of course :)

Lucia got a perm Saturday! It is soooo cute. The make up is left over from the slumber party the night before. :)

Last night Gage stayed the night with his friend Andrew and Zac stayed the night with his cousin Anthony. They don't have school today and I had to work, of course...so...must be nice.

Anyways, I survived my very first thunderstorm at my new place....all by myself.

It was pretty scary!! The thunder was constant....like NO breaks in between. My bed was rattling from it. The wind was blowing like crazy and my electricity kept cutting out.

I was like...ok, I'm out in the middle of nowhere...with no phone service....no kids....no power. Kinda scary!!

Did I ever tell you that Beauty IS pregnant!! UGH!!!

I have to buy a dog house ASAP!!

It's about to start getting cold out. I don't want her and the little puppies freezing to death!!!

Yeah...so that's about it. I miss talking to you. Hopefully I'll have internet someday and we can keep in touch more often. :)

Long time, No talk....Part 2

So, when I ended my last blog entry, I said that I had a cry fest last night. Man, it was bad. I cried from about 6:00 until....well...off and on til bedtime. Then when I woke up...then this morning I was fighting the tears, since I had to work with the patients.
All I have to say is,"Thank God for my sister, Leah." I have no idea what I'd do without her. She is not only my sister, but my best friend, and also...my therapist! Me and my boys therapist, apparently. haha.
So, on to the reasoning for my crying spell.
Everyone knows....well, if you know me or read my blog...that I have a CRAZY 7 year old son. I love him more than life itself. Gage and Zac are my world. But as much as I love Zac the Maniac, I have admit that he is sometimes hard to handle. Especially being a single mom with two boys. It's hard sometimes. I've always known that Zac was a little different.
I was talking to a guy I used to work with at the state hospital. Just talking about the weird little things that Zac does.
Well, he and my sister think he may be mildly autistic.
Now when I think about autistic kids, I think about the hard core autistic kids that I worked with at the state hospital. Granted he does do some of the things they did, but just not so extreme.
Zac is extremely smart. He's able to communicate and do things on his own. So, him being autistic never crossed my mind. I thought...ADD or ADHD...or something along those lines.
Anyways, about a month ago, he started twisting his wrist. Like you would if you hurt your wrist. But he does it all the time. Which the RN at the state hospital I was talking to about Zac, said that he was developing OCD behaviors, which is common with autistic children.
I've had this on my mind a lot lately. And I've been wanting to get him an appointment with a specialist, so we can find out for sure what's going on.
Yesterday after me and Zac picked up Gage from baseball practice, we went to get Subway. We went home, sat down at the dinner table, and starting eating. Zac was doing is wrist again and he looked at me and said,"Mom, I have a problem." I was like..."Oh yeah, what's that?"
He said,"I keep doing my wrist like this and I don't know why. I can't stop."
It broke my heart into a million pieces.
Yeah, I've noticed the problem, but when my 7 year old son comes to me, realizing that he's different and he's doing something that is beyond his control......Broke.My.Heart.
So, I do what I always do and I called my sister. She drove right out and had a talk with Zac. Talking about stuff like that is always so easy for her. It's hard for me, just because communication has always been my downfall. And I just cry so easily.
So, thank God for Leah. She went to his room and talked to him about it for about 30 minutes. I was crying the whole time. When they came out of the room I heard him say,"Thank you for talking to me, Leah" She said,"Anytime, buddy. Anytime you feel like you need to talk, you can talk to me." broke.my.heart.
Long story...less long, she talked to him about his doctors appointment and we're going to figure out something to help him. That there's nothing wrong with him, everyone has something that is different and this is his thing. And we're going to do everything we can to help him.
breaks.my.heart.
I love that little guy more than anything. And I just can't stand that this is something that he's obviously been thinking about and worrying about.

Anyways, sorry this was so long. But this is what caused my breakdown last night.
Hopefully when I take him to the specialist we can get something done for my little baby. :)

long time, no talk!

Man, how I've missed my internet at home. :( But I must admit that I have been able to get so much done!!

I just wanted to post something.....I know you all miss me sooooo much! haha.

Here's a picture for you of my little nephew, Jack. Does he has good taste in music, or what???

:)

This is something that my Zackary made with clay. How cute is this? I told him it looked like something from "The Nightmare Before Christmas". :)

Here's a post card Ms. Micaela sent me. ohhhh, I how I love it so! :)

On another note, I had a pretty good weekend. Friday night me and my sister met up with Lauren (my cousin's wife). We went to Parkway and had some drinks, good conversation.

Zac was at his dad's and Gage went to a Rider football game with a friend of his, then stayed the night.

Saturday, I thought me and my boys were going to hang out. But Gage decided he wanted to stay at his friend Travis's house. Zac decided he was going to stay the night with his cousin Anthony.

Uhhh...ok.

"Lonely.....I am so lonely....I have nobody...to call my owwwwnnn."

Nah, it was alright. I dropped them off at their little places at 6, then went and walked around Hastings. I found a cute little purse, it has a hotel and a man and says 'Psycho'...good movie. :) Ohhh how I love this Halloween time of year!!! And I also got a new coffee mug!! It says."One drop is all you need" and has a V behind it. I'll post pictures of my new two items later. :)

Oh...and the coffee mug...it's True Blood. Oh yeah, baby!!

So, after Hastings, I went to wash my car. I was driving past an elementary school and saw a little boy sitting cross legged out front with a back pack on.

I couldn't help but think....awwww, what if his mom forgot to pick him up from school yesterday! haha. But surely not. It was kind of a sad thought though. ;)

Last night I got up around midnight to go pee and I saw a freaking scorpion on my floor!! Right where I walked past to turn on the light...so close. I so could've stepped on it!!! It took a long time to fall asleep after that. I had to check my sheets and my bedroom floor....ugh. Country life. ;)

Last night was also a cry fest for me. But that's another long story that I just don't have time for right now....

So, maybe I'll fill you in on that next time I blog.....if I ever get internet :(

You go....me!

Tomorrow will be 2 weeks since my last cigarette..



I'm just sayin'.....





woot woot, Stephanie :)

Fill in the Blank Friday

Here are today's blanks!

If you want to play along, fill in the blanks on your blog and then link back here.

1. True happiness is being a mom.

2. The most surreal moment of my life was giving birth to my boys! :)

3. My favorite texture is hmmm, I don't know. I've never really thought about it .

4. My signature color is probably green. I wear green a lot. It's my favorite color :)

5. My signature style is comfortable. That's all I care about....comfort.

6. If I could choose one store to spend my life savings at, it would be seriously? Why would I spend my life savings at a store?? I wouldn't. What about college for my kids? A new house? A new car? A store? Uh, ok.....I'll play along....I guess maybe....Target? haha. I'm not much of a shopper, I don't know.

7. My best thing about autumn is EVERYTHING! Weather, movies, family time, colors, cuddling. It's the best.