Friday, Payday, Friday, Payday

It's Friday! And payday!! So, you'd think I would be in a better mood. But man, I'm in a foul mood today! I woke up with a freaking fever blister. I HATE fever blisters. Disgusting. I had yesterday off. I usually love days off, but we had Zac's doctor appointment yesterday. We got there at 8:15 and left a little before 10. My sister (support system) went with me. We just talked with the doctor about Zac. She was really sweet. I have to take Zac back December 1st for testing. It's FOUR HOURS of testing. They're testing him for Aspergers Disorder. Which is a type of autism, from what I gathered. So, of course, being the emotional mess that I am, there was a lot of crying involved, while talking to the doctor. Gage's school has their big rival football game, so he was at school from 7:30 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. last night! School from 7:50-2:50; baseball practice from 2:50-5:00; then the "Happening" from 5:00-9:00!! Apparently they had a parade, bon fire, fireworks and all that good stuff. I was never that involved in school to care about stuff like that, so I'm glad Gage seems to be. :) So, it sucks coming in to work after having the day off. I have certain things that I get done before I leave everyday...that have to be done to make my morning go a little more smooth. And of course, none of it is done. (Not bad-mouthing you, Ash!) There's no way for the girls who do billing to know everything I do up front, so I'm not complaining about them. You just get used to your routine and it's all jacked when you have the day off...ya know? ;) I still love you, Ashley and Brenda! Plus the other receptionist was off yesterday, too. So, that doubley :) sucked for Ash and Bren. Anywaysssss, I just need to think "Friday, payday, Friday, payday". No kids tonight, either! What to do? What to do? We shall see. Have I mentioned that it's been 48 days since my last cigarette? And I still want one EVERYDAY! just sayin'. word.

Friday, woot woot.

I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday. It's been one heck of a week. I could use a little weekend in my life. :)
It's going to be a pretty busy weekend too, though. Cleaning house, doing laundry, cleaning out the backyard. Beauty decided to tear her pillow to pieces...stuffing is all over the backyard!!
Saturday me and my sister are doing a walk-a-thon for the homeless. We're raising money for thier Thanksgiving dinner. :) Then after that, we have Benjamin's birthday party! (My cousin, Bryan's boy). Sunday, church....and hopefully a lot of napping in between that stuff. :)
As mentioned in a previous post, one of the men in my life, driving me crazy...would be, Gage's dad. Yes, he's back. He's been MIA since about July. But he decided to come out of hiding to jack with his son's head again. So, I'm once again, trying to deal with this situation. Frustrating, heartbreaking, draining.
I got a flu shot today. My co worker threw up in the trash can behind me. gag. Gage wants a tattoo. I told him the only way he could get a tattoo before the age 18 is if it says "Mom". haha. I'd like to see that happen!
I had to get my car back from Jauque. :( My dad came and took it to sale. I felt bad, because she really needs that car. She had it for about 3 weeks, then he decided he wasn't giving me the title....he was going to sell it.
My co workers told me there was supposed to be a huge storm coming tonight...so I'm staying the night at my sisters. haha. I know, I'm a dork. But I've been a little bit of a chicken shit since moving. :)
But it's like 8:30...which is like 30 minutes AFTER my bedtime, so I gotta get off the computer! haha.
Plus Gage is begging me to let him on, so he can look up what he wants for Christmas.
Can you believe he wants a baseball bat, baseball glove, and a batting glove...it comes in a pack for like $175!!! Are you freaking kidding me??? That is ridiculous! Why..WHY must this stuff be so expensive?!?!
On the other hand, I'm very excited that he is loving baseball. :) I can't wait to go watch him play!
Alright, I'm out...ttyl.
;)

Long time, No talk....Part 2

So, when I ended my last blog entry, I said that I had a cry fest last night. Man, it was bad. I cried from about 6:00 until....well...off and on til bedtime. Then when I woke up...then this morning I was fighting the tears, since I had to work with the patients.
All I have to say is,"Thank God for my sister, Leah." I have no idea what I'd do without her. She is not only my sister, but my best friend, and also...my therapist! Me and my boys therapist, apparently. haha.
So, on to the reasoning for my crying spell.
Everyone knows....well, if you know me or read my blog...that I have a CRAZY 7 year old son. I love him more than life itself. Gage and Zac are my world. But as much as I love Zac the Maniac, I have admit that he is sometimes hard to handle. Especially being a single mom with two boys. It's hard sometimes. I've always known that Zac was a little different.
I was talking to a guy I used to work with at the state hospital. Just talking about the weird little things that Zac does.
Well, he and my sister think he may be mildly autistic.
Now when I think about autistic kids, I think about the hard core autistic kids that I worked with at the state hospital. Granted he does do some of the things they did, but just not so extreme.
Zac is extremely smart. He's able to communicate and do things on his own. So, him being autistic never crossed my mind. I thought...ADD or ADHD...or something along those lines.
Anyways, about a month ago, he started twisting his wrist. Like you would if you hurt your wrist. But he does it all the time. Which the RN at the state hospital I was talking to about Zac, said that he was developing OCD behaviors, which is common with autistic children.
I've had this on my mind a lot lately. And I've been wanting to get him an appointment with a specialist, so we can find out for sure what's going on.
Yesterday after me and Zac picked up Gage from baseball practice, we went to get Subway. We went home, sat down at the dinner table, and starting eating. Zac was doing is wrist again and he looked at me and said,"Mom, I have a problem." I was like..."Oh yeah, what's that?"
He said,"I keep doing my wrist like this and I don't know why. I can't stop."
It broke my heart into a million pieces.
Yeah, I've noticed the problem, but when my 7 year old son comes to me, realizing that he's different and he's doing something that is beyond his control......Broke.My.Heart.
So, I do what I always do and I called my sister. She drove right out and had a talk with Zac. Talking about stuff like that is always so easy for her. It's hard for me, just because communication has always been my downfall. And I just cry so easily.
So, thank God for Leah. She went to his room and talked to him about it for about 30 minutes. I was crying the whole time. When they came out of the room I heard him say,"Thank you for talking to me, Leah" She said,"Anytime, buddy. Anytime you feel like you need to talk, you can talk to me." broke.my.heart.
Long story...less long, she talked to him about his doctors appointment and we're going to figure out something to help him. That there's nothing wrong with him, everyone has something that is different and this is his thing. And we're going to do everything we can to help him.
breaks.my.heart.
I love that little guy more than anything. And I just can't stand that this is something that he's obviously been thinking about and worrying about.

Anyways, sorry this was so long. But this is what caused my breakdown last night.
Hopefully when I take him to the specialist we can get something done for my little baby. :)

Pray. Pray. Pray.

I found a house I want! Like....really, really, really want!! It's 3 bedroom and two bath. Right now I live in a little 2 bedroom, one bath house. It's pretty crowded with me and my boys. But, hey.....I'm a single mom, I gotta go with I can afford, right? :)

This house (ok, ok...it's a mobile home, but it's a NICE mobile home) has a huge front yard, a privacy fence around the back yard, a little storage building on the side. The bedrooms are pretty small....but you know what? I don't care about the size of the rooms. I just want soooo bad for my boys to have their own rooms! Gage is in highschool, I think he needs his own room. And Zac is 7. He's always slept with me or his bubba, but this year, I've been making him sleep in his room alone. That leaves Gage on the pull out sofa.....which Gage doesn't mind, he sleeps on it even when Zac's at his dad's. But still....it'd be soooo nice for them to have their own room.

Bad part...credit check. I have the worst credit EVER!! Huge mistakes when I was younger. Credit cards....repo'd car after my divorce. :(

But Jauque says God is more powerful than credit checks :) so if it's meant to be, it will happen. :) Let's just pray that it's meant to be.

Seriously.

It's also really close to one of Gage's friends, Travis, who he has been friends with since kindergarten. And the school bus to Archer drives right past. He's been wanting to go back to Archer school since we moved away, when he was about 8 or so.

It's right in between Archer and Wichita, so he could still go to Rider, if he decides he wants to stay there....I mean, he does have a girlfriend there now. haha.

Anyways.....please, please, please pray that I get this mobile home...so I can offically be trailer trash. haha.

Hey! Me and an ex were trailer trash couple one year for Halloween, I think it suited me well. :)

just sayin'.