You're killing me, Smalls!!

So, not only did my child have a wreck the other morning, but he got shot that same night!!!
What the hell is going on???
He decided to stay the night with his friend Cory, so I took him over there. The next morning, I got up to get ready for work. To wake myself up, I take a look at Facebook, to see what I've missed while sleeping.
Yeah, that's how I found out about it. Cory posted that Gage got shot.
Apparently they decided to go hang out at the park. When they decided to leave, and were walking off, someone...somewhere, shot him with either a pellet gun or a bb gun.
What is wrong with people?
They didn't see anyone around, so this person was just hiding out....what? Waiting to shoot someone??
Ridiculous.
So, I texted him later in the day, when I knew he'd be awake, and told him to call me at work.
I asked WHY he didn't call me immediately and let me know. He said because I would freak out, and it was nothing.
I asked him if the bullet was still in him and he said no.
I called to make sure he was up to date on his tetanus and he was.
When he finally came home, he then decided to tell me that the bullet WAS still in there.
He showed me a picture on his phone....no doubt he was proud of it.



Disgusting.
So, the little hole is where the bullet went in and the X is where it was lodged. Cory's mom sterilized some stuff, cleaned it up, cut an X, and removed the bullet.

And people wonder why I'm so stressed all the time.
My boys are no doubt, going to be the death of me. I always thought it'd just be Zac, but apparently Gage wants to help him out. haha.

Once again, I'm glad my son is ok.
My mom said his guardian angel is working overtime lately.

No doubt.

I almost had a heart attack today.

I knew it would eventually happen. Everyone has a car accident at some point in their life. So, I knew at some point, it would happen to Gage.
What I did not know, was that it would be just a few weeks after getting his license.





Our road is gravel and has a lot of potholes.
Add a new driver, with an ADHD brother in the back trying to hand him a cell phone....with me on the other end, not knowing my son was already driving, and you get a truck flipped and landing in a ditch (luckily) right side up.
Can you only imagine how I felt, hearing Gage yelling at Zac to calm down, then muffled noise, then Zac saying,"I'm scared, I'm scared" and then Gage picking up the phone and saying,"Mom, I just flipped my truck."
My heart is racing just thinking about it. I was a work. I left and rushed home, crying all the way.
I am so thankful to our wonderful, loving Lord for keeping my boys safe.
I pray that this makes my son be more aware. Also that it makes Zac more aware of his behavior and realize that his actions have consequences.
I feel horrible knowing, that I asked Gage to take Zac to the youth center this morning, that I was on the person on the phone when it happened, and just that it happened, period.

His truck is still drivable. But we do need to get something fixed on in the front....don't ask me, I don't know cars (or trucks).

All I know is I'm thankful my boys are ok. And that Gage's truck will be ok, as well.
I was a mess this morning, but now that everything is said and done, I'm good....and exhausted.

A his name is.....TOM HARDY!

I have a new crush.
And his name is Tom Hardy.
Have you ever seen "Warrior"?


No???
Then you must!
.best.movie.ever.


.hottest.guy.ever.


Yes, I WILL wash your back for you!


.w.o.w.


I have a thing for hot guys with tattoos.


Seriously. I do.

Look at that hot stomach!!


Awwww, he's even sexy when he doesn't look all tough.


yes, please.

yum.


Oh, you look so handsome! Unbutton that shirt and let me see those tats!


Usually I'd call a guy who takes pictures of himself a douche.
But if he looks like that....can you blame him?!?


Oh.wow. Niiiiice.


Yep. This is my new crush. I must go look up every movie he's in and watch them now. :p

February 27, 1996

Sixteen years ago, my life changed.....for the better.
I remember being a scared 17 year old, pregnant, not knowing what the hell I was doing.
Of course, many people had talks to me about my options, being a young teen. Abortion? No way in hell. Adoption? How could I go on living a child of mine was with someone else? I would go mad. My dad offered to raise him as his own.
That would be even worse than adoption. Seeing my son all the time, but him not knowing who I really am to him. No way.
It wasn't that I was a stupid 17 year old pregnant girl, who didn't think about how life was going to be. I knew it was going to be hard. I prayed every night that I would find a way to figure this out. I remember being 8 months pregnant, one month away from my 18th birthday and the birth of my first child, crying on the phone with my friend, Brian. I was asking him how I was going to raise a boy on my own?? What about when he gets in junior high and clothes are important to kids?? What about when he's 16 and ready to drive....how will I be able to afford a car? He told me to take a deep breath, relax. He said to just take it one day at a time. Not to worry about things that will not happen until many years from now.

This is the first best decision of my life:


It was many years away, and I took it one day at a time, but it seems like a blink of an eye.
My son is 16 years old today.

We had a surprise party for him this weekend, and it was a success!


Me and Jack, decorating a banner to hang up.


Our decorations. The first one is a picture of the special "16" birthday napkins. The next one is the birthday cake table. Then the birthday cake that says,"Clear the road, Gage is 16!" Then a sign Leah made. Me and Lucia hung up pictures Gage, when he was wittle all around :)
The next one was a table set up when you first walk in. I made a memory box and had papers around for people to write messages to him. Some were funny, some were just words of advice, and some made me want to cry. Then the "Party up in hurrrrr" is the sign I made, so people would know what door to go into. A close up of one side of the memory box I made. And the last one, as if you couldn't guess by the letter "a" is a sign Marianne made. haha. What a dork!

Lucia, Zac, Jack, and Gavin, playing pool.....kinda. ;)


Gavin and Jack cheezin' for the camera. I love those sweet boys. I wish I had a video of Gavin dancing! Too funny!!


Marianne and Zackary. Marianne helped me out sooooo much! I would've been so behind if she hadn't helped me out!!
And finally, Gage got there. He was so surprised. His face turned bright red and he just looked around and walked over to me. He said he scared him to death.
score.
This is how Gage described this picture:
"That awkward moment when you walk into your surprise party, don't know what to do, so you just go stand by your mom."
hahaha.

Me and my boys. And Gage's friend Gunner, who screamed "Photo Bomb"! as the pictures were being taken.
dorks.



Me and the birthday boy. When did he get so much taller than me???
Oh yeah...like 2 years ago.
Ridiculous.


And finally, the crazy family. Lacey, Leah, mom, me, my step dad Mike, and Gage.
I just took the disposable cameras to get developed.
Can't wait to see what comes out with those!!

So, today we went to get Gage's license. He passed :/
No, really, I'm happy for him. We did some running around after, he did all the driving. In his new truck, my mom and step dad bought for him. (Not new, new....but new to him, I'll get a pic of him in it up soon!)
We ate at Whataburger, went to Academy, so he could by a camoflauge steering wheel cover, haha.....get his oil changed, and then he took me home and dropped me off :(
School was out by that time and he was ready to go to Cory's house.
I've made him text me everytime he leaves and returns to where ever he goes.
And I hear his truck pulling up now!!! Right on time! :)
Later, bloggers.

pray for me to make it through this time
and for him to be safe, always.

New news

Yay! I'm so excited I'm off tomorrow!! I'm going to be able to get so much done for Gage's surprise birthday on Saturday!
Unfortunately, Coyote Ranch Resort was full this weekend....that's what I get for putting it off until the last minute. But I did manage to get two hotel rooms, right next to each other for Saturday night!
Gage and his friends in one room....and me in the other. Ahhhhh, peace and quite for a whole night...just me! Lovely. I'll probably sleep the whole time! haha.

So, I've been writing about how worried I've been about Gage's dad. It's been over a year since he has seen Gage, almost as long since he's even spoken to him. I found out a few days ago that he is, once again, in jail. He's being held for theft, violation of probation, and child support. Geez, he only owes me about $27,310.00. Ridiculous.
As disgusted as I am that he's in jail, again, I have to admit I was so happy to hear that he's alive. I didn't know if he was lying dead in a ditch somewhere. No one in his family has heard from him since this summer, when his dad passed away.
So, of course, the worst is going through my mind. And of course, I'm glad to hear he's still alive.
Rumor has it, that he may be going to prison this time. I wrote him, telling him how sad I am for him, where he is in life right now. But that I have hope. There have been many people in my family that were addicted to drugs. They came through, so I know there's a chance. Maybe prison is what he needs to get clean. Maybe this is finally rock bottom?
He's on my prayer list, has been for many years, and I'll continue to pray for him, hoping that one day, he will get back to being the dad he once was.
As much hope as I have for him, I'm still weary about giving him our address. I rented a post office box this weekend. I told him that if he wants to write Gage, he can. But I haven't told Gage yet about him being in jail.
His birthday/surprise party/license....so many exciting things coming up for him, I don't want to put a damper on that!
So, I figure by the time his dad gets my letter...and decides to write Gage....if he does, it will be after Gage's birthday.

I've been wanting to get a po box for a while now. Living out in the country, there's a lot of mail I feel uncomfortable about being sent to my house.
Also, I want to get back into Postcrossing for me and Zac. I didn't really like having my home address out there.
So I suppose this was the push I needed to get that ball rollin'.
Zac and I are all about postcards and pen pals, so my mailing address is posted on the side, if anyone wants to write us! :)

I hope you all are having a fabulous week!!! I'm super excited about our upcoming weekend!!

peace out