I'm a loser baby...so why don't you....not kill me, but pray for me? :)

Have you ever heard of Agent Orange?
Yeah, neither have I.
At least not until yesterday.
So, apparently it's a chemical that was used in wars in the late 60's, early 70's. It would destroy crops, remove forest cover, and to clear vegetation from the perimeters of US bases.
I just learned that while my dad was serving in Korea they had used this chemical.
While at the VA hospital, my dad found out that he has about 4 symptoms caused by exposure of this "Agent Orange".
Which sucks, right? But of course, with the bad comes the good. He's going to start receiving a check from the government.
Also, he said that the government will pay for all his children to go to college. Four years of college, paid for. Books, courses, everything. Well, obviously not cost of living and stuff, but the school part.
I'm excited about this, because I want to go to school. I want to be able to support my children, not live paycheck to paycheck. I want to be the one who can help people, instead of being the one that everyone helps.
But I'm also nervous about the possibility of going back to school, because I have a very short attention span.
I did attempt to go to school a few years ago. It didn't work out. I think I have ADD. Seriously. I would wake up in the morning, intending on going to class, only to end up in bed all day, or watching movies, or hanging out with my bf at the time.
Then I would cry at night about how I just can't make myself do it.
I'm not smart enough.
I have no motivation.
But still....for free? How can I NOT take this opportunity? How can I not try again?
Yes, I'm old. I'm 33 years old and the thought of school is scary.
I mean, I still have dreams that I'm in school and can't remember where my locker is....or what the combination is...or what class I am supposed to go to next.
Silly really.
But I have a feeling these dreams are going to become more frequent the more I look into this. haha.
Man, I'm a ruh-tard.
Anyways, yes....this is my new plan.



and i'm scared.