I'm a loser baby...so why don't you....not kill me, but pray for me? :)

Have you ever heard of Agent Orange?
Yeah, neither have I.
At least not until yesterday.
So, apparently it's a chemical that was used in wars in the late 60's, early 70's. It would destroy crops, remove forest cover, and to clear vegetation from the perimeters of US bases.
I just learned that while my dad was serving in Korea they had used this chemical.
While at the VA hospital, my dad found out that he has about 4 symptoms caused by exposure of this "Agent Orange".
Which sucks, right? But of course, with the bad comes the good. He's going to start receiving a check from the government.
Also, he said that the government will pay for all his children to go to college. Four years of college, paid for. Books, courses, everything. Well, obviously not cost of living and stuff, but the school part.
I'm excited about this, because I want to go to school. I want to be able to support my children, not live paycheck to paycheck. I want to be the one who can help people, instead of being the one that everyone helps.
But I'm also nervous about the possibility of going back to school, because I have a very short attention span.
I did attempt to go to school a few years ago. It didn't work out. I think I have ADD. Seriously. I would wake up in the morning, intending on going to class, only to end up in bed all day, or watching movies, or hanging out with my bf at the time.
Then I would cry at night about how I just can't make myself do it.
I'm not smart enough.
I have no motivation.
But still....for free? How can I NOT take this opportunity? How can I not try again?
Yes, I'm old. I'm 33 years old and the thought of school is scary.
I mean, I still have dreams that I'm in school and can't remember where my locker is....or what the combination is...or what class I am supposed to go to next.
Silly really.
But I have a feeling these dreams are going to become more frequent the more I look into this. haha.
Man, I'm a ruh-tard.
Anyways, yes....this is my new plan.



and i'm scared.

"I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom"

Ok, so I get off work about 2:15 everyday. The minute I get in my car, I take my shoes off. Then I drive across town and wait for Gage to get out of school (2:50). These 30 minutes (or so) are my only alone time during the day. I like to sit back and relax. So, I pull up across the street from the school, roll down my windows, lean my seat way back, prop my feet up out the window, and listen to my music. The music I listen to varies, depending on my mood. Sometimes it's Eminem. Sometimes, Bob Seger. Sometimes, I even like to listen to good ole Justin Bieber. :) Every once in a while, I wonder if Gage is embarrassed by his mom being all laid out in the car. Feet moving along with the beat of the music. He wouldn't tell me if he was....or wait, he probably would. Anyways, today as I started my ritual, I stuck my feet out the window...with my hot pink and black Valentine heart socks that say "Kiss Me" "Yes" and "Love Ya" all over them...while jammin' out to the new Bruno Mars song, Gernade....I thought, maybe today I've gone too far. Valentine socks? So, I put my feet on the ground, sat up my seat, and started looking around at the other moms. What do they do while waiting? And I've come to the conclusion that if Gage had to choose from all the moms....he'd take me and my Valentine socks over most of the other ones. Like the one in the white mini van with her face pushed up against her mirror, tweezers in hand, plucking out her chin hairs. Or maroon van mom, who's big pregnant, sitting on her bumper, smoking a cigarette. Then there's the mom in the white extended cab truck behind me with her finger pushed so far up her nose, I'm scared for her. Yeah...I think Gage is lucky to have a "cool mom" like me. hahaha. If only he knew...

You can do it!

As much as I'm anti-relationship/dating right now, there are times that I wish I had a guy around....for my kids, not me!
So, Gage got guitar and baseball this FRESHMAN year. Yeah, I still can't believe I have a freshman in high school!
Anyways, I feel bad. Today he came home and said he wants out of guitar. He said everyone in his class already plays and is so far ahead of him. He feels like he's holding the class back. I'm like, seriously?? You've been in school for 3 days. How can you be holding them back? But he's never played an instrument. He has no idea about notes and finger placement and whatever. But apparently everyone else is already that far. :( It makes me sad. I was really excited about him taking guitar. James Cook was nice enough to offer to give him lessons. (For those who don't know James Cook, he's the "local celebrity", plays in clubs and what-not, he's very good!) So, I'm going to talk to Gage about that and hope that he doesn't get out of the class just yet!!
And as for baseball, I feel bad that his dad isn't around to practice with him. :( A lady at work has a son in law that played at Rider and is now playing for the Angels and will surely be moving up fast! She said he would gladly work with Gage while he's in town. But he's only in town a few weeks every few months. :/
Zac's dad played ball at Rider also. He got a scholarship playing ball and is pretty good. He used to work with Gage when we were married and Gage played t-ball, 5-pitch, all that. But I think it would be a little inappropriate to ask him now days.....not sure his wife would like that too much.
So, I'm feeling a little guilty right now. I guess I can take him to the batting cages and let him practice.
He's really excited about baseball and I just hope he doesn't quit, like he's wanting to with guitar....already.
Low self esteem and feeling like he's not capable of accomplishing something...must've gotten that from his mom :( I just wish he'd really try instead of giving up so fast.

First day of school.....*tear*

Happy First Day of School, kiddos!!
When I pulled up to Zac's school, he said,"I don't think I want to go today." haha. I was like, sorry bud, you don't have a choice! Poor guy. But he gets out at 1 today, it'll be a short day.



Gage thinks he's too cool to get his "first day of school" picture taken. I really don't understand the black socks. I always tell him how retarded it looks, but he says it's the "style". Seriously?
When we went to orientation, there were so many boys wearing the black socks.
I say,"ewww". Some of the boys were even wearing the black socks with the slip on Nike shoes, flip flops...whatever they are.
d.o.r.k.s.

But I guess if that's THEIR style....then go for it. :) I'm sure I wore plenty of things in my life that my mom thought was just as retarded. haha.

I hope my boys have a wonderful first day!! :)

My baby's a big boy now.

I survived high school orientation. I couldn't catch my breath on my way to pick up Gage and head that way. When we got there I started shaking. Is this insane, or what? I mean, seriously...I'm the mom and I was way more nervous than Gage was. But once we started walking around the school, I felt a little better. I was showing him where all his classes were. It's so weird taking my son to orientation at the same high school I went to! It brought back a lot of memories. :)
We're both super excited about his schedule. He got baseball and guitar!! So exciting. When we signed up for the classes, they said that it is very rare for a Freshman to get guitar. Everyone wants to take it, so usually just the juniors and seniors get the class. But Gage did!
Now I'm going to have to buy him a guitar. I told him the only way I would, is if he would come home and teach me everything he learned in class. haha.
So, I thought I was going to have to take a Xanax, but I'm all good.
Monday.....that may be a different story. :/

School Daze

Another slow week at work, so I get tomorrow off. Woot, woot. :)
I took the boys shopping for some school clothes today and we're going to finish up tomorrow.
Apparently Gage says all he needs are basketball shorts. So, we went to Academy and bought basketball shorts. Here's our conversation:

"Want to go get some school clothes?"
"Yeah, all I need are basketball shorts."
"What about when it gets cold? You'll need some jeans."
"Nah, I wear basketball shorts."
"What if we have another snow storm like last year? You'll freeze."
"I'll wear basketball shorts and a hoodie."

mk. Whatever.

Then I'm talking to Leah later...this is our conversation:

"A girl came in today to get her teeth cleaned, she knows Gage."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, she said ALLLL of her friends have a crush on him."
"Mhm."
"She said everyone makes fun of him...not like he's a dork, but teases him because all he ever wears are basketball shorts. Even in the winter. It's like his trademark."

haha, ok. I get it now. It's his "trademark" and all the girls have a crush on him. haha.

Well, what can I say...he is a cutie!

Zac in the car, being a vampire. Cause I LOVE vampires! haha.



When we were at Academy, I put some bikini briefs in the basket and told Gage I got him some underwear....he picked them up and was like...."NO, Mom!!!"
hahaha. I thought it was funny. :)

I love my kiddos! :)