I smell a rat.....

Not only do I smell a rat....but a dead rat! Yes, a dead rat in our attic at work.
First we just smelled the rats bodily function smells seeping through the ceiling. We had our exterminator put some rat poison in the attic. Two weeks later.....we smell a dead rat.
And it STINKS!!!
I'm pretty sure I've always heard, where there's one, there's a nest.
I know this to be true with mice....I'm guessing it's the same with rats??
All I know, is I don't like being in a building by myself at 6:00 in morning, knowing there could possibly be more rats around.
Ok, so apparently I've been working with them for a while, but I didn't know at the time.
I know now. And I don't like it. I don't like it one bit!
Just wondering....have you ever read Stephen King's Night Shift? It's a collection of short stories and one is called Graveyard Shift. Yeah, it's about rats. And it's pretty gross.

Anyways, someone is supposed to come clean our attic. Hopefully there will be only one dead rat in the entire attic, or if there are more....hopefully they're alllll dead! No live ones! At all.
I can't handle that.

Ew.

It's Friday!! And I just had two days off...two more to go! YAY!

Dear Mr. Scorpion,

I know this is Texas. I know the weather is sometimes in the 70's in January...as it is supposed to be this weekend! I'm super excited about it, too! But yesterday morning at 6:45 a.m., it was still 25 degrees outside.
So, I'm just wondering why you felt the need to make an appearance in my home?







Now, I do want to thank you for not stinging my 14 year old son as he threw you from his neck! But you did still put the fear in me. I mean, did you see me as I was cleaning Gage's nasty room? Looking in every direction at the same time. Oh wait....I guess you didn't see me, since you got flushed down the toilet.
Please don't be mad about that. It was for your own good. It was seriously too cold for you to be out just yet. I hope you were the only one venturing out, to see if it was safe. I hope that your "friends" notice that you haven't returned and realize that it's not safe.
Love, Steph

And to all you people that tell me,"Oh my gosh! If there's one out already, just imagine what this summer is going to be like..." I KNOW! Ugh! I freaking know!!! Damn country living.
This weekend I will be spraying. :)


On to a happier note....I was off for the past two days, due to low census at work. Love it!
I, obviously, got Gage's room cleaned up yesterday...after the scorpion incident. Then went to see "Black Swan" again. This time with Leah.

I seriously love this movie. :)

During my two days off, I also saw "Easy A". When it first came out, I really didn't care to see it, but I finally gave in and watched it.

I loved it, too!

In fact, I returned it yesterday, then bought it. :)

Ok, that's all I can tell you about right now. I'm at work...was just taking a break. Back to work I go. Pretty busy for just having 6 patients today! Seriously! :)

Happy FRIDAY!!!!

Ohhh, kids....you gotta love em.

The other day my sister (Leah) told me that she thinks her house is haunted. I think pretty much every house she's lived in, she's told me this.
Her new ghost story....
Dustin was home from the oil field and stayed a few nights in Jack's new bunk beds with him (they're full size and NICE!). So, they're laying on the top bunk watching tv. Each night the channel changes all by itself. Dustin changes it back to cartoons....it changes again. He tells Leah to call the dish people, maybe they messed something up when they were installing the cable.
Leah calls them.
That night, Dustin's in bed with Jack again, watching tv. The channel changes again....by itself. Dustin changes it back to cartoons. Jack jumps up looks over the edge of the bed and starts laughing and says,"Hey, who is that?" Dustin looks....no one is there. Jack's staring at one spot in his room giggling.
Uhhhh, scary. I was like...Leah, don't tell me this. Anytime I stay the night, I sleep in Jack's room!!
So, yesterday, Leah and Gage went up to the gas station to fill up Leah's gas jug, Gage wants to mow for her.
I'm sitting in the kitchen, playing with clay with Zac and Jack.
Jack says,"Ohh, I have to pee." I'm like, ok...go ahead and go. He jumps down, runs in towards the bathroom and comes running back.
"Come with me, Steppie, it's dark." ok.ok.
I turn on the light and turn to go back to the kitchen, he says,"I'm scared of the dark, stay there til I'm done."
I say ok.ok. I'll stand here by the door while you pee. While he's peeing, I say,"There's no reason to be scared of the dark. You're a big boy."
He said,"No, I'm scared of the dark." I ask him why?
He says,"It talks to me."
Goosebumps....I'm like hurry up and finish and wash your hands...let's get back in the kitchen with Zac. haha.

Look at this little cutie pie.....I took this when I took all the kiddos to eat at Fuzzy Taco. Look at him with that little toothpick hanging out of his mouth. haha. I love this kid.




And a photo of my Zackary....the big dork. He's always wanted one of these helmets, so I bought him one last Christmas. He fills two cups up to the freaking top and walks around drinking out of his helmet. Needless to say, as he's walking around, his head is bobbing along, dripping a drink trail behind him.

d.o.r.k. But I love him.

Day Four: Favorite Book

Day Four of the 30 Day Challenge:

Your favorite book.

Ugh, another hard one!! There are so many books I love!!

Of course, anyone that knows me, knows that Stephen King is my all time FAVORITE writer, EVER!!!

When I start reading a Stephen King book, I cannot put it down. I will stay up reading all night long, if I have to. But once I get to the last two or so chapters.....I start dragging it out as long as possible. They're so good, I don't want them to end!

Some of his books have made me stay up at night.

Some of his books have given me nightmares.

Some of his books make me leave the bathroom light on at bedtime.

Sometimes when one of his books are super scary, I have to put it in another room. I don't want it in the same room as me while I'm sleeping. :)

Seriously.

Now, THAT'S a good book! :)

Bag of Bones is the first book I ever read of his and I was hooked. I had nightmares from that book for a month straight. Like the kind of nightmare where you're trying to wake up and open your eyes in your sleep, but you can't. Scary.

After reading Bag of Bones, I read every other book of his that was out. I went to the library and checked out book after book. And eventually just bought them all. :)

Ok, ok, so enough about my love of Stephen King. :)

My favorite book, is by him....of course.

THE STAND

This book is so wonderful. I did not want this book to end. I became so involved in all of the characters and the story line....the ultimate fight between good and evil.....

Wonderful. Just wonderful.

I love you, Stephen King.

You can do it!

As much as I'm anti-relationship/dating right now, there are times that I wish I had a guy around....for my kids, not me!
So, Gage got guitar and baseball this FRESHMAN year. Yeah, I still can't believe I have a freshman in high school!
Anyways, I feel bad. Today he came home and said he wants out of guitar. He said everyone in his class already plays and is so far ahead of him. He feels like he's holding the class back. I'm like, seriously?? You've been in school for 3 days. How can you be holding them back? But he's never played an instrument. He has no idea about notes and finger placement and whatever. But apparently everyone else is already that far. :( It makes me sad. I was really excited about him taking guitar. James Cook was nice enough to offer to give him lessons. (For those who don't know James Cook, he's the "local celebrity", plays in clubs and what-not, he's very good!) So, I'm going to talk to Gage about that and hope that he doesn't get out of the class just yet!!
And as for baseball, I feel bad that his dad isn't around to practice with him. :( A lady at work has a son in law that played at Rider and is now playing for the Angels and will surely be moving up fast! She said he would gladly work with Gage while he's in town. But he's only in town a few weeks every few months. :/
Zac's dad played ball at Rider also. He got a scholarship playing ball and is pretty good. He used to work with Gage when we were married and Gage played t-ball, 5-pitch, all that. But I think it would be a little inappropriate to ask him now days.....not sure his wife would like that too much.
So, I'm feeling a little guilty right now. I guess I can take him to the batting cages and let him practice.
He's really excited about baseball and I just hope he doesn't quit, like he's wanting to with guitar....already.
Low self esteem and feeling like he's not capable of accomplishing something...must've gotten that from his mom :( I just wish he'd really try instead of giving up so fast.

And then I realized.....

At what point in your life did you realize your parents weren't perfect?
Me and my sister talked about this...a long time ago. When she was in college, a professor asked her class that question.
You know, when you're a child, you think your mom is the most beautiful woman in the world. You think she can do no wrong. You think your dad is the most amazing man in the world. You want to marry your dad when you're little. Then you want to marry a man JUST LIKE your daddy!
But at some point, you realize it. My mom isn't perfect. My dad isn't perfect.
Leah asked me when I realized it. It took me a long time to figure it out.
I'm pretty good at blocking out things in my past that weren't the "best of times".

With my dad, the moment I realized he wasn't everything I thought he was, was when my Mee Maw (his mom) died. He was an alcoholic and drug addict (he's been clean for about 17 years now).
Anyways, I loved my Mee Maw sooo much.
She had breast cancer and she was a nurse. When she got so sick, she moved a hospital bed into her house. She didn't want to die in a hospital. She wanted to be home. So, my dad and his 4 siblings would take turns staying at her house, taking care of her. On weekends that it was my dad's turn to take care of her....and also his weekend to keep me and my sister, he would leave us with our sick grandmother while he went out partying.
You'd think that would be the moment I realized he wasn't perfect, but I was still pretty young. Maybe nine or so? But I didn't realize it then, all I knew was I was getting to spend time with my Mee Maw. :)
When she died, I was heartbroken. I came home from school and my mom told me she had passed away. I stayed in my room all night and just cried.
I went to the funeral with my dad and sister. I remember sitting next to my dad and I was crying so hard, I couldn't catch my breath. You'd think my dad would try to comfort his daughter, or something. Instead, he swatted my leg and told me to shut it up.
I tried so hard to stop crying, but it was so hard. I just sat there, tears running down my face.
That was the moment I realized my dad wasn't perfect. That moment is burned in my brain and still breaks my heart to this day.
As for my mom, I don't know. I know she's not perfect. But not one moment stands out really. She worked a lot. She wasn't really around much. Leah practically raised me and my little sister. I'm thankful I had Leah. I still lean on her more than I probably should. She's my mother figure that I go to now. I talk to my mom and she is wonderful. We get along great and I can tell her anything. But the first person I call when I have something going on, good or bad...that would be Leah.
It always will be.
So, I'm sure there was something my mom did, that made me realize she wasn't perfect. But it wasn't something so bad that I can pin point it. I think that's a good thing, right?

What was the point of this blog? I don't know. I just wonder if other people have certain moments when they realize that. Or maybe you're lucky enough to still think your parents are perfect?

What's your irrational fear?

I'd say I have a few irrational fears. I mean, don't we all?

I'm scared of clowns. Ever since I saw Poltergiest, I've been scared of clowns. Then after seeing "IT" and reading the book by Stephen King....I got even more scared of clowns!!

I'm scared of big bodies of water. Watching movies like 'Jaws' or 'Titanic' I start to feel like I can't breathe. Just writing about it right now is making me take deep breaths.

I went to Cancun with my sisters a couple years ago and I was fine, going on the booze cruise and walking into the ocean. But at night, standing at the edge of the water, with the moonlight on the endless water in front of me...I could feel the heaviness in my chest. I don't know why it scares me so much.

The one that my friends make fun of me the most about, is my fear of dolls, dummies, anything like that. I've always been scared of dolls. I don't know why. Yes, I watched scary movies about them when I was little, but I always thought they were creepy. Anytime I got a doll for Christmas or my birthday, I always made my mom put it up in her closet. I didn't want it in my room, or my closet, I didn't want to even see it. I just wanted to forget it was in my house all together.

So, of course, while I was checking out PostSecret today....I saw this postcard and just had to laugh.

No, I didn't send it in, but I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who feels that way.