I say hello....you say goodbye

Friday after work, Zac and I went Leah's to tell her & the kids good bye. Saturday morning, they left, moved to San Antonio.

She had my step dad, his son, and his son's friend loading up the U Haul. It was like, 110 degrees outside! They were pouring down sweat! I told them they looked so hot, I had to grab myself a cold beer. Haha.

Really though, I am so sad that they actually moved. They were so back and forth about going, I was secretly hoping they'd stay.

I completely understand and am still so happy for them.

They'll be so much closer to Dustin's rig. He works in the oil field and was sometimes gone months at a time. When he came home, he never knew if it'd be for a day, a week, or more. He hated to leave when it was time to head back to work. They hated to see him go.

So now, his rig is within an hour or so of their new house. Quick trips home to see him family will be more frequent. Before if he just had a day or two off, the drive back to Wichita Falls would be pointless.

So, yes...I am so happy for my sister and her family. I know Jack misses his dad like crazy while he was gone. Little boys need their daddies :)

As we were driving away, I looked over and Zac was crying. Lucia is his world, he's going to miss her so much. Last night they were able to Face time, for freaking ever it seemed like!! I was like, it's MY turn on the iPad, Zac, get off! hahaha.

In a few weeks, me & my boys, my mom & stepdad, Lacey, Chris, & Gavin, and possibly my aunt Lisa & cousin Rachel are going to visit for a week or so.
I can't wait to see them, see their new house, be off work for a week!

I've been so busy lately! I've been packing up my house because I, too, am moving. It's not the greatest neighborhood, but it's next door to my aunt and around the corner from my grandma, so that makes me feel a lot better. I'll be so glad to get back into WF and out of this country scene!! Coyotes, scorpions, tarantulas, creepster neighbor/landlord, the long drive to and from work everyday, ugh! I can't take it anymore!!
So, I'm excited!

Since Zac has gone to live with his dad, while I get my sanity back, we had to go to court today to stop child support. I swear about 40% of my life is spent in court or doctors offices.
I have ANOTHER court date the beginning of August with Gage's dad. Again, a pointless court date, where I have to clock out of work and go sit up there, knowing his dad will never pay. I mean, it's only been 6 years since I've gotten child support from him!
He's been in and out of jail so many times!
The first few times, I said, give him a chance, let him go. Now, I'm just like....keep him. He doesn't communicate with his son unless he's in jail. Once he's out, we never hear from him again.
Around Christmas I had texted his ex's daughter to see if anyone had heard from him. They're still close with Billy's family. She called around and no one had heard from him in weeks. I dislike him so much and hate what he's done to Gage, but I was praying for him. I'm still praying for him. But at that time, I was praying that he was at least alive. So, when he was put back in jail February, I was disappointed, but so happy he was ok.
He was in jail in Fort Worth for theft. But come August, he'll be moved to the jail here, since he never paid any child support from the last time we were in court.
I wrote to him and told him I was praying for him and I believe he can change. My dad and sister were both drug addicts for a long time. I know it's hard, but I also know, it can be done. I'm praying that he gets his life straight.
I told him how much he was missing out on. I mean, he hasn't seen, let alone spoken to Gage in over a year.
He had the nerve to write me and ask me to ask the judge to take it easy on him. To let him go because he has changed and Gage needs him in his life.
Dude, he's needed you in his life since you quit getting him regularly and paying child support.
He's 16 years old!! That needing a daddy phase is long gone.
Now are the days of friends, girls, cars, teenage fun. When parents are the last thing you have time for.
Needless to say, I'm going to tell them to keep him. Maybe the longer he's in jail and having to stay clean, the better it will be for him. And I will cry. Because it breaks my heart. For him and for Gage. I cry every time.
Anyways......drama, drama, drama.

BUT! Look at this beautiful picture my Zackary painted of an owl! His very first class and it is amazing!
I'm so proud of him. He has always been so artistic. I was so happy to find out about this place that has painting classes. I've been to a few myself! Fun stuff.
man, I'm old.

Anyways, yeah. There's a little update on my life up to date. :)

P.S.
Is it Friday yet?

Near death, could've been!!!!

As I lay on my bathroom floor, writhing in pain, all I could think was, 'Dear Lord, if I die, please give me just enough strength to put some clothes on first."

Yes, Monday night, I was in my bathroom for 2 hours straight. Starting on the toilet with a trash can in between my legs. Need I go into more detail? Then the stomach pains worsened, I started sweating profusely. My entire body was pouring sweat. I stripped down, feeling so weak, and laid on my bathroom floor. I couldn't move. I was seriously in and out of consciousness. Every time I tried to pull myself up I would get nauseous. I was shaky and weak and confused.

Of course, my cell phone was in the living room. I thought I was going to either die or pass out. I had to have my phone, because if I just pass out, maybe the alarm would wake me in the morning for work. But if I die, and I truly thought that was a possibility, I didn't want to be found by one of my boys, the landlord, or cops sprawled out on a bathroom floor, naked.

Eventually, (two hours later) I managed to walk/crawl/hold on to things to get to the living room and get my cell phone. I went back to my room, put on some undies and a tee, splashed my face with water and noticed.....i was pale, but my lips where white literally white. I finally made it to my bed.

My stomach still hurt, my body ached, and I was then freezing cold. I passed out.

Luckily I woke up to my alarm the next morning, feeling 60% better.

I worked all day, still with a headache, body aches, moments if nauseous ness. I went straight home and slept. And slept. And slept, until it was time for work again.

100% better.

Now I'm just trying to figure out what the hell happened.

What does it sound like?

Flu? Virus? West Nile? Food poisoning?

I have no idea.

I'm just thankful to be alive and clothed. And feeling so much better.

And tomorrow's FRIDAY!!!! Woot, woot.

I have a new brother in law!!! And I LIKE him!

Hello, fellow bloggers!!

It's been a while since I have blogged. I've been a busy girl!

Quick update:

I quit my second time job, have to take blood pressure medication (ridiculous) AND still, of course, have my Xanax on hand. But I'm doing better!

Zac moved in with his dad at the end of the school year. I miss him daily. I get him every other weekend and one night a week.

I can tell a difference in all of our lives, though....mine, Gage's, and Zac's.

Zac isn't as clingy as he used to be. I think having his dad full time was definitely a good idea. But sometimes I get sad and still second guess myself.

But my anxiety, blood pressure, patience, and sanity were on the line. I really felt like I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

That feeling is just...so not cool.

Anyways, that's an update with my life.

But you know I'm really back to tell you all about my little sister's wedding!
On June 30th, my little sister officially became Mrs. Catlin.

Words cannot describe how so very happy I am for my little sister, my nephew, and Chris.
But I'll get into that in a minute.
Here are a few pictures of the perfect wedding, perfect day.

Lacey tying Gavin's tie. He stood up at the alter with with Best Man.

Two very handsome men, my step dad, Mike, and my son, Gage.
Gage was an usher. I could not get over how good looking that boy was all dressed up.
I was a proud mama. :)

Me, the bride, and Leah. The sistas. Unfortunately you can't see, but the entire wedding party wore Converse. Cutest thing ever!! I had no problem with that. It's what I wear daily. And so much more comfortable than fancy high heels. You know, I'm all about comfort!!
The bridesmaids/maid of honor wore white converse. Lacey wore the blue color of our dresses. All the boys wore black Converse.

Two seconds into the wedding, I was tearing up. I knew it would happen. It happened the night before at the rehearsal.
But seeing Lacey's dad AND my step dad, walk her down the aisle....man.
Sweetest thing EVER! Mike has been a father figure to us all, since Lacey was 7 years old.

Me and my handsome boys after the wedding.


Marianne (my constant, reliable, and favorite date to every event I attend) and Gage.

Me and my bff. I loved her dress, she was beautiful....as always. That's like....a given, right? :)

Chris, Lacey, and Gavin coming out.....finally married. I loved that Chris carried Gavin out and they put him in the car with them, when they drove away. (or around the block and hide to take pics while everyone else headed to the reception.)
Do they not all look so happy? I love it.

Their first "self portrait" together as husband and wife.

Chris and Lacey's first dance.

Lacey's dance with her dad, Steven.

And her dance with her second dad, Mike.

I was pretty much crying the entire night. From the wedding to the reception, to the way home, then just THIS past weekend, when I texted my sis to see how their honeymoon went and to tell her how so happy I am for them. Yeah. I cried typing a freaking text message.

Wanna know what made me totally and completely lose it?
Chris, serenading his wife. He sang Jack Johnson's "Better Together" to her. I cried.
But then, he called his groomsmen up to sing a couple more songs.
He sang "Grow Old With You" from the movie "The Wedding Singer".

I lost it. Do you know me? The way to my heart is movies. My family LOVES movies, we're constantly quoting them. We'll say a line out of a movie and be like....,"What movie is THAT from??" Or hear a song and ask,"What movie is this from??"
It's fun.

So. For Chris to sing this sweet song to my little sister, was the sweetest thing ever.

Lacey's best friend, her maid of honor, also gave a speech that made me cry. She told Chris that Gavin has been going around telling everyone that his mama is a princess, and that Gavin learned that from Chris.
He treats her like a princess. He's amazing with Gavin. I could not hand pick, in this world, a better man for my little sister.
She deserves this wonderful man. So does Gavin.
I'm so happy for my sister.

And yes.....my eyes MAY be watering a little at this moment.

You're killing me, Smalls!!

So, not only did my child have a wreck the other morning, but he got shot that same night!!!
What the hell is going on???
He decided to stay the night with his friend Cory, so I took him over there. The next morning, I got up to get ready for work. To wake myself up, I take a look at Facebook, to see what I've missed while sleeping.
Yeah, that's how I found out about it. Cory posted that Gage got shot.
Apparently they decided to go hang out at the park. When they decided to leave, and were walking off, someone...somewhere, shot him with either a pellet gun or a bb gun.
What is wrong with people?
They didn't see anyone around, so this person was just hiding out....what? Waiting to shoot someone??
Ridiculous.
So, I texted him later in the day, when I knew he'd be awake, and told him to call me at work.
I asked WHY he didn't call me immediately and let me know. He said because I would freak out, and it was nothing.
I asked him if the bullet was still in him and he said no.
I called to make sure he was up to date on his tetanus and he was.
When he finally came home, he then decided to tell me that the bullet WAS still in there.
He showed me a picture on his phone....no doubt he was proud of it.



Disgusting.
So, the little hole is where the bullet went in and the X is where it was lodged. Cory's mom sterilized some stuff, cleaned it up, cut an X, and removed the bullet.

And people wonder why I'm so stressed all the time.
My boys are no doubt, going to be the death of me. I always thought it'd just be Zac, but apparently Gage wants to help him out. haha.

Once again, I'm glad my son is ok.
My mom said his guardian angel is working overtime lately.

No doubt.

I almost had a heart attack today.

I knew it would eventually happen. Everyone has a car accident at some point in their life. So, I knew at some point, it would happen to Gage.
What I did not know, was that it would be just a few weeks after getting his license.





Our road is gravel and has a lot of potholes.
Add a new driver, with an ADHD brother in the back trying to hand him a cell phone....with me on the other end, not knowing my son was already driving, and you get a truck flipped and landing in a ditch (luckily) right side up.
Can you only imagine how I felt, hearing Gage yelling at Zac to calm down, then muffled noise, then Zac saying,"I'm scared, I'm scared" and then Gage picking up the phone and saying,"Mom, I just flipped my truck."
My heart is racing just thinking about it. I was a work. I left and rushed home, crying all the way.
I am so thankful to our wonderful, loving Lord for keeping my boys safe.
I pray that this makes my son be more aware. Also that it makes Zac more aware of his behavior and realize that his actions have consequences.
I feel horrible knowing, that I asked Gage to take Zac to the youth center this morning, that I was on the person on the phone when it happened, and just that it happened, period.

His truck is still drivable. But we do need to get something fixed on in the front....don't ask me, I don't know cars (or trucks).

All I know is I'm thankful my boys are ok. And that Gage's truck will be ok, as well.
I was a mess this morning, but now that everything is said and done, I'm good....and exhausted.