I'm in the nation of procrastination

Procrastination!!

I'm moving sometime this month and I have absolutely NO motivation when it comes to packing! I packed for two days straight a couple weeks ago......then NOTHING! I feel like it should already all be packed up. How could I possibly have more to pack??

I'm looking around at these boxes that are stacked up all around the place.....but my house is still full of stuff. How does that happen??

I've thrown away so much, given away so much, have a box full of stuff for a garage sale/Faith Mission.

And a little spider just came webbing down from my ceiling....right in my face!
Don't worry, I killed it.

So, I've uploaded a million old pictures onto Facebook.....I've gone to my cousin's birthday party to paint....I've played Words with Friends, Hanging with Friends, Pocket Potions, watched True Blood (OMG! What's going on with Bill?!?!?!)

I'm off tomorrow, I HAVE to pack!! Tuesday I get Zac back from his dad's, then Wednesday we're leaving to go to San Antonio to visit my sister and check out her new house.

Ok, I'm packing tomorrow. That's all there is to it. NO Facebooking, NO Blogging, NO Words with Friends, NO Hanging with Friends, NO Pocket Potions, NO phone, NO iPad, NOTHING! I'm sticking my iPhone on the iHome, gonna blast some music and clean and pack and that's all I'm doing. That's it. That's all there is to it.





wish me luck

Awkward

Yesterday a guy came in to pick up our shred bin (containing confidential patient information). He comes every Wednesday.

When he came in yesterday I thought, he looks familiar. I think he was in my sister's wedding.

I was working, so I didn't say anything (I'm not much for small talk anyway).

But as he was leaving, he stopped and said,"Aren't you Lacey's sister?"

I said,"Yeah, I thought you looked familiar. You were in the wedding too, weren't you?"

............

"Yeah, I walked you down the aisle."

............

(random thoughts in my head)

F*ck, Stephanie, you're a horrible person!!! How could you not know that?? He probably thinks you're a total bitch. Ahhhhhh! What do I say????

...........

Me: "Oh yeah, that's right!"

him: "Well, I guess I'll be seeing ya every Wednesday."

me: "Yep. Haha. Have a good day!"

..............

Open mouth, insert foot.

My coworkers were cracking up while telling me how mean I am. They couldn't believe I didn't remember who walked me down the aisle just a couple weekends before.

I felt so terrible. But I swear, I'm HORRIBLE about remembering people I meet at short periods of times.

Faces, names.....I have no idea why, but I just can't get it until I see and talk to you on a regular basis.

I still feel bad.

awkward!!!!

I say hello....you say goodbye

Friday after work, Zac and I went Leah's to tell her & the kids good bye. Saturday morning, they left, moved to San Antonio.

She had my step dad, his son, and his son's friend loading up the U Haul. It was like, 110 degrees outside! They were pouring down sweat! I told them they looked so hot, I had to grab myself a cold beer. Haha.

Really though, I am so sad that they actually moved. They were so back and forth about going, I was secretly hoping they'd stay.

I completely understand and am still so happy for them.

They'll be so much closer to Dustin's rig. He works in the oil field and was sometimes gone months at a time. When he came home, he never knew if it'd be for a day, a week, or more. He hated to leave when it was time to head back to work. They hated to see him go.

So now, his rig is within an hour or so of their new house. Quick trips home to see him family will be more frequent. Before if he just had a day or two off, the drive back to Wichita Falls would be pointless.

So, yes...I am so happy for my sister and her family. I know Jack misses his dad like crazy while he was gone. Little boys need their daddies :)

As we were driving away, I looked over and Zac was crying. Lucia is his world, he's going to miss her so much. Last night they were able to Face time, for freaking ever it seemed like!! I was like, it's MY turn on the iPad, Zac, get off! hahaha.

In a few weeks, me & my boys, my mom & stepdad, Lacey, Chris, & Gavin, and possibly my aunt Lisa & cousin Rachel are going to visit for a week or so.
I can't wait to see them, see their new house, be off work for a week!

I've been so busy lately! I've been packing up my house because I, too, am moving. It's not the greatest neighborhood, but it's next door to my aunt and around the corner from my grandma, so that makes me feel a lot better. I'll be so glad to get back into WF and out of this country scene!! Coyotes, scorpions, tarantulas, creepster neighbor/landlord, the long drive to and from work everyday, ugh! I can't take it anymore!!
So, I'm excited!

Since Zac has gone to live with his dad, while I get my sanity back, we had to go to court today to stop child support. I swear about 40% of my life is spent in court or doctors offices.
I have ANOTHER court date the beginning of August with Gage's dad. Again, a pointless court date, where I have to clock out of work and go sit up there, knowing his dad will never pay. I mean, it's only been 6 years since I've gotten child support from him!
He's been in and out of jail so many times!
The first few times, I said, give him a chance, let him go. Now, I'm just like....keep him. He doesn't communicate with his son unless he's in jail. Once he's out, we never hear from him again.
Around Christmas I had texted his ex's daughter to see if anyone had heard from him. They're still close with Billy's family. She called around and no one had heard from him in weeks. I dislike him so much and hate what he's done to Gage, but I was praying for him. I'm still praying for him. But at that time, I was praying that he was at least alive. So, when he was put back in jail February, I was disappointed, but so happy he was ok.
He was in jail in Fort Worth for theft. But come August, he'll be moved to the jail here, since he never paid any child support from the last time we were in court.
I wrote to him and told him I was praying for him and I believe he can change. My dad and sister were both drug addicts for a long time. I know it's hard, but I also know, it can be done. I'm praying that he gets his life straight.
I told him how much he was missing out on. I mean, he hasn't seen, let alone spoken to Gage in over a year.
He had the nerve to write me and ask me to ask the judge to take it easy on him. To let him go because he has changed and Gage needs him in his life.
Dude, he's needed you in his life since you quit getting him regularly and paying child support.
He's 16 years old!! That needing a daddy phase is long gone.
Now are the days of friends, girls, cars, teenage fun. When parents are the last thing you have time for.
Needless to say, I'm going to tell them to keep him. Maybe the longer he's in jail and having to stay clean, the better it will be for him. And I will cry. Because it breaks my heart. For him and for Gage. I cry every time.
Anyways......drama, drama, drama.

BUT! Look at this beautiful picture my Zackary painted of an owl! His very first class and it is amazing!
I'm so proud of him. He has always been so artistic. I was so happy to find out about this place that has painting classes. I've been to a few myself! Fun stuff.
man, I'm old.

Anyways, yeah. There's a little update on my life up to date. :)

P.S.
Is it Friday yet?

Near death, could've been!!!!

As I lay on my bathroom floor, writhing in pain, all I could think was, 'Dear Lord, if I die, please give me just enough strength to put some clothes on first."

Yes, Monday night, I was in my bathroom for 2 hours straight. Starting on the toilet with a trash can in between my legs. Need I go into more detail? Then the stomach pains worsened, I started sweating profusely. My entire body was pouring sweat. I stripped down, feeling so weak, and laid on my bathroom floor. I couldn't move. I was seriously in and out of consciousness. Every time I tried to pull myself up I would get nauseous. I was shaky and weak and confused.

Of course, my cell phone was in the living room. I thought I was going to either die or pass out. I had to have my phone, because if I just pass out, maybe the alarm would wake me in the morning for work. But if I die, and I truly thought that was a possibility, I didn't want to be found by one of my boys, the landlord, or cops sprawled out on a bathroom floor, naked.

Eventually, (two hours later) I managed to walk/crawl/hold on to things to get to the living room and get my cell phone. I went back to my room, put on some undies and a tee, splashed my face with water and noticed.....i was pale, but my lips where white literally white. I finally made it to my bed.

My stomach still hurt, my body ached, and I was then freezing cold. I passed out.

Luckily I woke up to my alarm the next morning, feeling 60% better.

I worked all day, still with a headache, body aches, moments if nauseous ness. I went straight home and slept. And slept. And slept, until it was time for work again.

100% better.

Now I'm just trying to figure out what the hell happened.

What does it sound like?

Flu? Virus? West Nile? Food poisoning?

I have no idea.

I'm just thankful to be alive and clothed. And feeling so much better.

And tomorrow's FRIDAY!!!! Woot, woot.

I have a new brother in law!!! And I LIKE him!

Hello, fellow bloggers!!

It's been a while since I have blogged. I've been a busy girl!

Quick update:

I quit my second time job, have to take blood pressure medication (ridiculous) AND still, of course, have my Xanax on hand. But I'm doing better!

Zac moved in with his dad at the end of the school year. I miss him daily. I get him every other weekend and one night a week.

I can tell a difference in all of our lives, though....mine, Gage's, and Zac's.

Zac isn't as clingy as he used to be. I think having his dad full time was definitely a good idea. But sometimes I get sad and still second guess myself.

But my anxiety, blood pressure, patience, and sanity were on the line. I really felt like I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

That feeling is just...so not cool.

Anyways, that's an update with my life.

But you know I'm really back to tell you all about my little sister's wedding!
On June 30th, my little sister officially became Mrs. Catlin.

Words cannot describe how so very happy I am for my little sister, my nephew, and Chris.
But I'll get into that in a minute.
Here are a few pictures of the perfect wedding, perfect day.

Lacey tying Gavin's tie. He stood up at the alter with with Best Man.

Two very handsome men, my step dad, Mike, and my son, Gage.
Gage was an usher. I could not get over how good looking that boy was all dressed up.
I was a proud mama. :)

Me, the bride, and Leah. The sistas. Unfortunately you can't see, but the entire wedding party wore Converse. Cutest thing ever!! I had no problem with that. It's what I wear daily. And so much more comfortable than fancy high heels. You know, I'm all about comfort!!
The bridesmaids/maid of honor wore white converse. Lacey wore the blue color of our dresses. All the boys wore black Converse.

Two seconds into the wedding, I was tearing up. I knew it would happen. It happened the night before at the rehearsal.
But seeing Lacey's dad AND my step dad, walk her down the aisle....man.
Sweetest thing EVER! Mike has been a father figure to us all, since Lacey was 7 years old.

Me and my handsome boys after the wedding.


Marianne (my constant, reliable, and favorite date to every event I attend) and Gage.

Me and my bff. I loved her dress, she was beautiful....as always. That's like....a given, right? :)

Chris, Lacey, and Gavin coming out.....finally married. I loved that Chris carried Gavin out and they put him in the car with them, when they drove away. (or around the block and hide to take pics while everyone else headed to the reception.)
Do they not all look so happy? I love it.

Their first "self portrait" together as husband and wife.

Chris and Lacey's first dance.

Lacey's dance with her dad, Steven.

And her dance with her second dad, Mike.

I was pretty much crying the entire night. From the wedding to the reception, to the way home, then just THIS past weekend, when I texted my sis to see how their honeymoon went and to tell her how so happy I am for them. Yeah. I cried typing a freaking text message.

Wanna know what made me totally and completely lose it?
Chris, serenading his wife. He sang Jack Johnson's "Better Together" to her. I cried.
But then, he called his groomsmen up to sing a couple more songs.
He sang "Grow Old With You" from the movie "The Wedding Singer".

I lost it. Do you know me? The way to my heart is movies. My family LOVES movies, we're constantly quoting them. We'll say a line out of a movie and be like....,"What movie is THAT from??" Or hear a song and ask,"What movie is this from??"
It's fun.

So. For Chris to sing this sweet song to my little sister, was the sweetest thing ever.

Lacey's best friend, her maid of honor, also gave a speech that made me cry. She told Chris that Gavin has been going around telling everyone that his mama is a princess, and that Gavin learned that from Chris.
He treats her like a princess. He's amazing with Gavin. I could not hand pick, in this world, a better man for my little sister.
She deserves this wonderful man. So does Gavin.
I'm so happy for my sister.

And yes.....my eyes MAY be watering a little at this moment.