What up?

For some reason I thought that once the holiday seasons were over, I'd have more time....to blog. But honestly, I'm still busy as ever.
Zac's birthday was January 16th, and I still have Gage's birthday coming up February 27th....so MAYBE...maybe, then I'll have more free time.

Ok...but if I'm being COMPLETELY HONEST...then I have to admit that what free time....it's spent on Pinterest. I'm addicted!! But it will pass. hopefully.

Sooo, what I've been up to:
Zac's birthday was a couple weeks ago. We had a party at the Gymnastics Sport Center. It was a good time! I bought him an ice cream cake, which everyone loved. But I was so busy, I didn't try it! :( I figured when I got home I would. But on the way home, the boys (Zac, Gage, and 2 of his friends, Travis and Tanner) were hungry. We decided to drive thru McD's and get something to eat. The line was so long, so we decided to go in and eat....forgetting that there was an ice cream cake in the back of my car!!
Needless to say when we got home and started unloading Zac's presents, we saw a big nasty mess in the back!!!
So much for me trying that yummy cake!!
Zac made out with about $95 and some awesome gifts. He wants to save up for an iPad. He's got a ways to go, but we've made a chore/attitude chart.
His ADHD medication seems to not be working so much anymore. Maybe we need to try something new. It takes about 30 minutes to get in his system. Then he's kind of reclusive and quiet, not hungry. Until about 4, that is. Then he's out of control again, eating everything in sight.
His chart seems to help a little. It's just a reminder to clean his room, do his daily hygiene things, and to stop for a minute, take control of his body and mind.
I'm telling you now, for those who do not believe in ADHD, it's truly a real thing. And it's hard.
The first of the year, I guess with so much going on, so much stimulation, he was completely out of control. I was once again, at the end of my rope. Crying daily, praying about what to do, and even talking to his dad about letting Zac move in with him for a while.
I cry when I think about him not being with me, but maybe he needs a man in his life?
So, let's hope that we can get this under control, make another appointment about a different medication and get him back in his counseling sessions. It's been a while since he has gone.

UGH! Sorry! Ok, so then Gage's birthday is coming up the end of February. The big ONE-SIX!!! OMG!
I really want to try to throw him a big surprise party. Family, friends, all that good stuff.
But then I wonder...is he getting too old for that type of thing? I've asked him what he wants to do and he's just like.....eh.

As for me, I'm still working two jobs. Trying to keep up with Zac and be there for Gage during these hard teen years. I've been trying to find Gage's dad. We haven't heard from him since his mom died. I guess that was almost a year ago. It's been longer since Gage has seen him. Billy's dad died back in August and that's the last that anyone in his family has heard from him. Gage has pretty much given up on him. But I'm so worried about him. I don't even know if he's alive.
The other day me and Gage were driving and the song "Cat in the Cradle" came on and I had to fight the tears back. It's been so long since I've heard that song. Isn't it strange how songs do that to you?

My birthday is also coming up in February. I'll be 34 years old! I guess I'm now at the age that I don't care about birthdays anymore. They no longer bother me. I'm embracing my old age :)
I'm getting one of my birthday presents today. I'll have to blog about that later! :)

So, that's my long, boring, pity party life lately! :)
In the long run, everything's going good, I just hope to get Zac's ADHD under control. Wish me luck with that!

Happy Birthday, Zac....Happy Wedding Plans, Lacey!!

Happy Birthday to my sweet, sweet Zackary! He is NINE YEARS old today!!! We're having his birthday party this Friday!
Yesterday, I took the boys out to eat. I let Zac choose where he wanted to go.....of course, he chose Los Tres Amigos. I have no idea why he always wants to eat there. He doesn't even finish his food. Weirdo. I let him open one of his three presents. It was a Casio keyboard. He was super excited! He's been wanting one for a long time!!

Today, I'm baking him a cake and letting him open his second present.
My boys this morning, before school. See how happy Gage is in the mornings. haha. :)


Then Friday, at his birthday party, he can open his last present!
I guess it's kinda his birthday WEEK! :)
Me and Zac....Lucia took this on Christmas, with her new Polaroid camera!


I had a really great weekend! Zac was at his dad's this weekend and Gage stayed the weekend with his friend, Travis.

Friday, when I got off work, I just stayed home and watched "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark". it was a pretty good movie. Not as great as I thought it would be.....but good. :)

Saturday, I went to the MPEC Bridal Expo with my family. My little sister, Lacey, is getting married!!

Meet my sister Lacey and her fiance, Chris. :)


After the expo, we went to Cheddars for lunch. Talks about the wedding plans, had me in tears. I was a cry baby!! Lacey said she was going to have my step dad walk her down the aisle, since he was more of a dad to her, than her real dad. Which made me cry. Because he is a wonderful man, and I am so happy she's asking him to do that!

I asked her if Gavin (her son) was going to be the ring bearer.


sweet Gavin!!
She said no, because Chris (her fiance) wants Gavin to stand next to him. OMG! More tears came.

Leah said a prayer before we ate. She was talking about marriage and hard times, and Chris and Lacey being best friends, and working through their problems, and having the Lord in their life....yes, more tears.
Just from me. Why was no one else crying?????
ugh.

After lunch, we went to David's Bridal, so she could show us the dress she chose.
It was a pretty dress, and she looked wonderful. It was plain, not showy. Which is what I would expect from my sister. One thing me and my sister's have in common, we do NOT like being center of attention. We don't like all eyes on us, and we don't like drawing attention to ourselves.
So, yes, I expected that, and it was a pretty dress.....but she just didn't look like a bride!!! It didn't fit her perfect little body and show her shape.
As we were looking at the dress, my older sister and aunt Lisa, decided to sneak off and find another dress. One that is a little more fitting, a little more bride-ish.
They came back and begged her to "just try it on!". She finally agreed and....
OMG!!
My little sister looked like a BRIDE! The dress fit her perfectly!! We all fell in love with it, luckily, so did Lacey!!
I wish I could post a picture of it.....but I can't. You'll see after the wedding!!!
Absolutely gorgeous.
And yes....I cried again. But at least this time, Lacey did, too!!
I'm so excited and happy for her!!

After all that, I had to go work at my part time job. I really didn't want to, I had had such a good day, I wanted to go home and take a nap. haha.
But I had to get it done, so I went. Downtown. All by myself. Down an alley to the the back of the building.
And what do I see....?
Yes, a man sleeping next to the building next door!
SCARY!!


I texted my mom and sisters and said,"Came to work, this guy is sleeping next to the building. If I come up missing, my money's on him."
hahaha.
I left early, because I didn't want to be there after dark. Luckily he was gone.
So, we're back to Sunday...which is when I took the boys out to eat.
I'm off today. Back to work tomorrow. LAME!
:)

Megan is Missing. Disturbing.

I watched a movie Wednesday night that has not left my mind and will probably not leave it for a long time....if ever.
The movie is called 'Megan is Missing'.
It is so intense, so disturbing, and so eye-opening.

I love scary movies, I love movies based on true stories, I love true crime shows. I'm addicted to the ID Channel, shows like Snapped, Dateline: Real Life, 48 Hours Hard Evidence, etc....you get the idea! :)
But of all the movies, true crime tv shows, not one has ever made me really see how terrifying, sadistic, crazy, heartless, and just.....messed up people can be.

This movie is based on actual events of like 7 cases of child abduction. Kinda just rolled all into one. It's centered around two girls 13, and 14. Who of course, chat online and meet people, thinking everyone is honest and are who they say are. The 14 year old decides to meet up with a "17 year old boy" she had been chatted with.
Never to be seen again.
Then her 13 year old friend chats up the boy as well, trying to see if he knew what happened, if he had anything to do with it.....and happens to also disappear, just 3 weeks after the disappearance of her friend Megan.

The feeling of being invincible when you're young is an awesome feeling. You think you can take on the world, things happen to other people...but it will never happen to you.
I look back at myself, between the ages of 14-17 and thank God I'm alive. I cringe at the thought of the things I did, the things that could've happened to me, and some things that did happen...that never should have. Poor choices, being too trusting of "friends" and acquaintances, not thinking about consequences. It happens. And I suppose those types of mistakes have to happen to make you who you are. It's just scary to think about the bad situations that could've easily been way worse.
And I of course, think of my 15 year old son. Knowing I don't know all that he does. Knowing he's growing and making his own choices, knowing they will not always be the best choices. All I can do is pray and talk to him. I try to make him aware. He finds me annoying, but at least I know I've planted a seed. And maybe something, anything, will stick....and he'll stop and think for doing something too crazy.

Anyways....I got off subject, sorry! So, this movie has two parts that were horrifying to me. One where it shows two photos and says they are actual photos, then a video of a supposedly actual video that was found. I had a hard time believing that. But it was still so disturbing. I had to go online and see what I could read about it.

I found this website or blog which didn't give a lot of details, but apparently the director had commented on it. If you read through the comments and read the one posted by Michael Goi, he eased my mind by saying that it was not the actual footage.
All the same, it's still disturbing.

You know, you read about crazy stuff that happens and crazy stuff people do, but it doesn't ever really register. I mean, to me, it's heartbreaking and I feel for the parents or family, but the true evilness of people somehow doesn't exists in my mind. I know it's there, but maybe I choose to block out the really horrific parts.
No matter how many crazy scenes in movies or actual people talking about actual events on tv I've seen....none have ever had an impact as the last 20 minutes of this movie did.
Maybe because a part of my mind thought it may possibly be real footage.
But still, knowing it's not, but knowing it was based on actual events is heartbreaking.

I think every parent should watch this movie once. And once is enough. I really can't imagine anyone being able to sit through it twice.
Just know, it will stay with you, it will disturb you, it will make you sick to your stomach. But it will also make you aware. And maybe make you want to communicate a little more with your children.

random conversations

Couple weeks ago at McDonalds:

Drive Thru Lady: "Thank you. Come again!"
Me: "You too."

Last week at work:

Drug Rep: "Howdy."
Me: "Good."

Uhhhh........I like to think what people should say, then respond according to that. :)

Christmas Eve after opening presents:

Zac: "Mom, this says it was made in Italy."
Me: "Yep. Because it was...."
Zac: "I thought everything was made in China."

...he's so observant!

Yesterday at work, texts from Gage, home from a church camp-out.

Gage: "Mom. You locked me out of the house."
Me: "Awww, I'm so sorry!! I thought you didn't have your phone....did you get in?"
Gage: "Yeah. Through the doggy door."
Me: "Bahahahaha, I'm sorry. Good thinking, though."

.....about an hour later, Gage about to leave to go to his sister's.....

Me: "Hey, will you please feed Beauty before you leave?"
Gage: "I already did."
Me: "Look at you, being all responsible! :) "
Gage: "Somebody's gotta be."

....oh no, you didn't! haha.

Pictures

My friend Yarei was nice enough to come take pics of my boys, niece, and nephews for me!
They turned out really cute! :)

My nephew, Gavin, 4

My nephew, Jack, 4

My niece, Lucia, 10

My boy, Zac, 8 (will be 9 on January 16th!)

My boy, Gage, 15 (will be 16 on Feburary 27th *sad face*)

Jack and Lu

Zac and Gage

The Whole Gang!