On the way to work Thursday morning...at 5:10 a.m., in the complete darkness of my road... no lights along the road, anywhere....THE song came on.
"Every Breath You Take"
And I was 8 years old again.
When I was little, I hated to be alone. I hated to sleep alone. I hated to be left home alone. All the way up until I was about 13. When I was 13, I was able to sleep by myself, but it was hard. I still hated being alone at home, even at the age of 16 and older.
I didn't need anyone right by my side, but I didn't feel safe unless I knew someone else was in the house with me.....someone who was SUPPOSED to be there, anyways.
So, when I was about 7 or 8, we lived in Decatur. It was a 3 bedroom apartment. We lived at the top of a hill. All along the road, at the end of the hill, and surrounding most of the apartment complex was a ditch. There were tons of trees all around.
During the day, I played in the ditch from sun up to sun down. My sister and I had a clubhouse built in there. Ditch=dumping ground, to some people. So we had a little couch down there and a dresser. It was the ultimate play area.
Of course, every night when we came home, my mom made us strip down so she could check us for ticks.
gross.
Like I said, during the day, the ditch was ahhhhsome! But when it was time for bed; in my cold little room, in my uncomfortable twin size bed, that was placed neatly under the window, facing the sloping hill, that lead to the road, and then the ditch; it wasn't so ahhhhsome anymore.
It was complete darkness, with who know what creeping through, stopping randomly because something caught their eye....oh yes, MY bedroom window.
Every night I would lay there, heart pounding, waiting until I was sure everyone was asleep. When I thought they were, I would quietly sneak into my sister's room and oh so slowly, slither into her bed.
But that wasn't always enough. Sometimes I had to reach my foot out, until I felt she was there, and then I would be out like a light. (and I get so mad at Zac for doing the exact same thing! aww.)
Leah is 3 1/2 years older than me, so she was about 11. She was at the age where her and her little girlfriends would have sleep overs. A majority of them, it seemed, were at her friends' houses. No doubt that it had something to do with her annoying little sister's constant presence.
Needless to say, I dreaded hearing the words,"Can I stay the night at Eskai's?"
noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!
On those nights, I would sleep in Leah's bed. I would turn on her stereo, low. Not loud enough to keep me awake, but loud enough to drown out any creaking in the apartment that would keep me up late.
I remember being cuddled up in her bed late one night, trying so hard to fall asleep and "Every Breath You Take" came on.
"Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you"
OH MY GOSH! This is my fear. Someone watching me. Someone watching me everyday! Listening to every word I say!! Watching me and my friends play games!! Every night when I'm in bed, feeling like someone is watching me.....they're watching me!!!
Yes. Those were the crazy thoughts that went through my head.
The song scared me to death. I slunk out of Leah's bed with a pillow and blanket, slid in between her bed and her dresser. Popped my hand up really fast and turned off the radio!
And I slept there, on the floor...out of view of the window, the rest of the night.
And now, every time I hear this song, it reminds me of that one night.
I still think the song is creepy.
I still would rather not hear it when it's dark out, and I'm alone.
just sayin'.
Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you
Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you
O can't you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches with every step you take
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you
Since you've gone I been lost without a trace
I dream at night I can only see your face
I look around but it's you I can't replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
I keep crying baby, baby please
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you
