RE: Creepster

Yesterday I had to MAKE myself go tell the land lord that it may still be a couple weeks before

my house is ready. I just wanted to know if we could pro rate the rent or whatever.

I'm not going to go into details of everything that was said.

I just wanted to share a text message conversation that my sister & I had about the situation.

August 29th 7:31 p.m.

Me: Went to the landlord to ask about paying rent for just two weeks, since the house is taking longer to get ready than expected. He opened his door & said,"Hey, Stephanie! Come on in!" I was like HELL NO, I'm not coming in! Haha. I didn't SAY it like that, but I thought it.

August 30th 5:21 a.m. (I'm driving to work)

Leah: why didn't you go in? He could've sat you down, got you a nice, cold, refreshing, lightly drug-laced drink. Then sat you down & slowly untied your shoes, very gently tugging your socks off. He'd ask you if that felt good. He's been wanting to do this since the day you moved in. "Would you like a light, gentle foot massage?" Then he'd put your foot real snug into his crotch & slowly, but firmly, begin to rub your cares away. He'd go get you some ripe, fresh, sweet, juicy fruit. Before he'd pop piece into your mouth, he'd lightly rub some of the fruits sweet juice on your lips & it would dribble down your chin. He'd say,"Oh, Stephanie! I'm so sorry! I made such a mess! Let me clean that off for you", as he cleaned it with his gummy, bacteria-coated tongue jutting out of his mouth.........Sorry to leave you hanging on the edge of your seat, but I gotta get kids ready for school. Tune in later for..."the rest of the story".

5:31 a.m.

Me: you're a sick bitch. Do NOT send "the rest of the story"! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

11:51 a.m.

Me: I let Bren & Misti read your text. They were laughing so hard. Bren thought it was hilarious. Misti was totally grossed out. Haha.

1:13 p.m.

Leah: I'm not sure...but I think that may have been my masterpiece :)

Me: I believe so

Leah: I just re-read it & started laughing again so hard, my eyes are watering. That's just too good!

Me: Get over yourself & your twisted mind.

I do believe my sister needs to either stick with the Stephen King novels or the raunchy romance novels. Reading both has made her a bit disturbing.

THIS is the concern I get from my family when a psycho landlord talks about locking me in my house & chaining me up.

I feel so loved and safe.

Did I mention my sister is one sick bitch????