Won't be long now

Yesterday was my breaking point! I had been out of my medication for almost a whole week! Every little thing was on my mind. Brenda asked me if I was ok and I broke down crying. "I just want my house to be done already. Right when we get one thing done, something else happens. I don't want to have to pay rent for two places this month, I can't afford it. Plus all the money I'm putting into this house. James moved in with us. I feel guilty, what will Zac think? He moves in with his dad, then I move some other kid in. I feel like a horrible mom! And I'm out of medication."

haha. Yep, that's pretty much how it went down. Today was a slow day at work, so Brenda offered to open for me, let me have the day off.
When I got off yesterday, I went straight to pick up my Prozac, then to Lowe's to buy the paint for my kitchen. Then I went and got started painting.
I stayed until about 8:00 and got just the trim done. I never realized how freaking long and tedious this job was!!

This morning, I woke up and headed straight to the house. I got the kitchen painted! I put the second coat of paint on Gage's room. Went with my mom to pick out some carpet for the living room, when she got off work.
Then boys (Gage and James) came over after school and ripped up the nasty, cat/dog pee carpet and padding in the living room and my room.
de.scuss.ting.
I feel so much better with medication in my system and everything we got done today!!
Saturday, the carpet man is coming to lay the carpet...woot woot!!

Back story re: James. Jauque (my friend since 5th grade) moved to Pennsylvania last year and decided she wanted to move back. Just so happens, I'm moving out of my place......so, she's moving in. I just didn't know how long my house is going to end up taking, so James came to live with us until his family makes it back. He wanted to get enrolled in school with Gage and not be too far behind. So, he came Saturday.'
He's like my son anyways. I was there the day he was born. He and Gage grew up together, only 3 months apart. They're bff's. haha. So, they're loving this, of course.
I'm loving it, just because I missed him so much while he was gone. He came to visit this summer and I didn't see him as much as I would've liked.

So, there's that.
Now, wanna see some pictures of my house progress so far?????
I'm super excited.
Please keep in mind....my favorite color IS green. So, maybe I went a little overboard on the green?

This is my room. You can't really tell the color, but it's Botanical something or other. I just thought it would be pretty with the red wood trim.


Today, when the boys ripped up the carpet, we discovered this beautiful hard wood floor!!!
WHY would anyone cover this with carpet?? I don't understand. I was hoping that we could buff it and stain it, but my step dad said it's just laying on the wood...whatever, planks? I don't know. Anyways, he said it's so dusty because it's just ground underneath. He said if he went under the house with a flashlight, I'd be able to see it through the cracks in the wood. :(
So, I'm going tomorrow after I pick up Zac from school to pick out some carpet for my room. Which was my original plan anyways......but I really love that old hard wood floor!


This is Gage's room. Nautical Blue. He said he wanted something "chill". It turned out to be prettier than I thought it would. He's ready to get his carpet down too, so we can start moving his stuff in!


This is my FAVORITE! My kitchen that I painted all by myself!!! First time I have ever painted a room, with no help.
Which explains the paint on the trim and ceiling...that you may or may not be able to see!!
All I have to do now is paint the trim, wash the floor and cabinets again, get my new stove and fridge in.......and it'll be ready to go!!


I know some people don't like green. But I absolutely love the color!! My mom is getting frustrated with my "old school" look. But I love the old brown paneling in the living room....which you can see to the right.

I'm so excited because we are getting so close!!!

Paint all the trim
Paint the laundry area and put new tiles down
Carpet in the living room, my room, and Gage's room
Paint the entry area
Paint my bathroom and Gage's bathroom
I think that's about it. And we'll be ready to move in!

Then I'll be ready to get busy in the garage....working on my art area/Gage's hang out.

So close......yet so far!!

Blah, blah, house, blah

I should be in bed.

Ok, I am in bed.

I should be sleeping.

Tired.

I'm so mentally & physically drained right now.

10 hour work week this week?!? Ugh. Then working on THE house!

Errr'day, errr'day.

Vacation?

I swear I'm in a movie right now.

The movie "Money Pit".

But where's my sexy, funny Tom Hanks????

Missing:

Laughter.

Update on my house:

My room, complete.

My bathroom, not even close.

Gage's room, complete, (minus carpet, should be laid this weekend)

Gage's bathroom, need to paint.

Back entry area, need to paint.

Laundry room, need to paint, replace some tiles.

Living room, complete, (minus carpet...also hopefully done this weekend.)

Kitchen, need to paint the walls.

I'm starting that tomorrow! As soon as I go buy the over-priced, but perfect colored paint that I want.

Stress.

Will we ever finish this house?

Will I ever move in?

Will I ever enjoy a weekend of going to garage sales, estate sales, antique stores, and the flea market EVER AGAIN?!?!?

Oh, will I, trustworthy magic 8 ball of Zac's..... Tell me my future!!!

Outlook foggy. Try again later.

Shit.

yep, that sounds about right.

I'm almost to the point of tears. Then laughter at the madness that shows itself right when we think we're getting close!!

Money Pit, I'm telling you!! I need my Tom Hanks. Tom hanks makes everything better. :)

p.s.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow. :/

i.want.to.MOVE.dammit!!!!

RE: Creepster

Yesterday I had to MAKE myself go tell the land lord that it may still be a couple weeks before

my house is ready. I just wanted to know if we could pro rate the rent or whatever.

I'm not going to go into details of everything that was said.

I just wanted to share a text message conversation that my sister & I had about the situation.

August 29th 7:31 p.m.

Me: Went to the landlord to ask about paying rent for just two weeks, since the house is taking longer to get ready than expected. He opened his door & said,"Hey, Stephanie! Come on in!" I was like HELL NO, I'm not coming in! Haha. I didn't SAY it like that, but I thought it.

August 30th 5:21 a.m. (I'm driving to work)

Leah: why didn't you go in? He could've sat you down, got you a nice, cold, refreshing, lightly drug-laced drink. Then sat you down & slowly untied your shoes, very gently tugging your socks off. He'd ask you if that felt good. He's been wanting to do this since the day you moved in. "Would you like a light, gentle foot massage?" Then he'd put your foot real snug into his crotch & slowly, but firmly, begin to rub your cares away. He'd go get you some ripe, fresh, sweet, juicy fruit. Before he'd pop piece into your mouth, he'd lightly rub some of the fruits sweet juice on your lips & it would dribble down your chin. He'd say,"Oh, Stephanie! I'm so sorry! I made such a mess! Let me clean that off for you", as he cleaned it with his gummy, bacteria-coated tongue jutting out of his mouth.........Sorry to leave you hanging on the edge of your seat, but I gotta get kids ready for school. Tune in later for..."the rest of the story".

5:31 a.m.

Me: you're a sick bitch. Do NOT send "the rest of the story"! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

11:51 a.m.

Me: I let Bren & Misti read your text. They were laughing so hard. Bren thought it was hilarious. Misti was totally grossed out. Haha.

1:13 p.m.

Leah: I'm not sure...but I think that may have been my masterpiece :)

Me: I believe so

Leah: I just re-read it & started laughing again so hard, my eyes are watering. That's just too good!

Me: Get over yourself & your twisted mind.

I do believe my sister needs to either stick with the Stephen King novels or the raunchy romance novels. Reading both has made her a bit disturbing.

THIS is the concern I get from my family when a psycho landlord talks about locking me in my house & chaining me up.

I feel so loved and safe.

Did I mention my sister is one sick bitch????

In a Perfect World

Imagine there's no heaven.
It's easy if you try.
No hell below us.
Above us only sky.
Imagine all the people living for today.
Imagine there's no countries.
It isn't hard to do.
Nothing to kill or die for.
And no religion too.
Imagine all the people living life in peace.
You, you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
I hope some day you'll join us.
And the world will be as one.
Imagine no possessions.
I wonder if you can.
No need for greed or hunger.
A brotherhood of man.
Imagine all the people sharing all the world.
You, you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
I hope some day you'll join us.
And the world will live as one.

My sister called me this morning to tell me about Jack's first two days of school.
She said when she picked up Jack from school, he was so excited to tell her about what a great day he had.
He said he made a new friend and they had so much fun playing!!
Leah asked him what his friend's name was and he said,"I don't know."

Tuesday, she picks him up from school. He goes on and on about his new friend and again....how much fun they had together.

Leah: So, what's his name?
Jack: I don't know.
Leah: How come you don't his name yet?
Jack: Cause I can't understand him.
Leah: Why not?
Jack: I don't know. I just can't. He don't talk like me.
Leah: What does he look like?
Jack: Umm, he has brown hair and brown skin and him has silver teeth.

haha. Apparently Jack's new best friend is Mexican and has yet to learn English.
Leah asked him how they play if they can't communicate. He says they just point and wave to each other, or pat the seat next to them to let them know they want to sit by each other. And.....they just play.

I thought that was the sweetest thing ever.
It made me remember being a kid.

Color, looks, clothes, cleanliness, money....nothing mattered at that age.
All you cared about was having friends. Whether you could understand them or not....or had anything in common, really at all. Just as long as you can play....we'll be friends.

What a wonderful world this would be, if adults still had that mentality!
To overlook race.
To overlook class.
To overlook all the things that don't really matter, and just see that the person in front of you is just that......a person. Someone you can get along with, if you just make the effort. No matter how opposite you are. We are all made in God's image. We are all just flesh and blood. With feelings, problems, family, love, insecurities, wants and needs.
We are all the same.

Take a look at kindergartner's while playing. How they interact with each other.
No fear of rejection.
No fear of being judged.
They just want to play. Make friends. Have fun.

If only we all had the perspective of my 5 year old nephew.

He's my hero. :)

Labor Day Weekend

I've gone over to work on THE house pretty much everyday for the past two weeks.

I still cannot describe the mess that was left behind.

We've gotten so much done, but there's still so much to do before we can move in.

This weekend the roofers came and put on a new roof. Woot, woot!!

I've cleaned and scrubbed and used so much bleach, that when I put my finger on the finger pad at work to clock in, it can't identify me! Brenda's been putting my time in manually! Ridiculous.

We painted most of the walls with kiltz and the ceilings too.

The living room and my room have old school brown panelling. I love the dark paneling in the living room, so I'm keeping it. (brings back childhood memories, which makes me happy).

But the paneling in my room is the light blond color....dislike. So we had to kiltz the entire room, except for the dark redwood frame and doors. Because I love those too. I'm loving the old school-ness of it all, but cleaner. So, I just have to figure out what paint will look best with the frame. I'm thinking khaki, a light sandy color....

We've ripped up the carpet & padding in Gage's room and scrubbed the concrete below. Yes, scrubbed concrete....from the urine of the 2 dogs and one cat that the previous people had. We've put a sealant on the concrete. He already has his carpet and paint picked out. He want his room navy blue..."just something chill, mom". Ok, whatever....it's your room.

I didn't work on the house today (it was my day to pick up zac & I tortured him enough this weekend having to go with me to work on the house), but my mom and step dad went over to fix the toilet in my restroom. It wasn't bolted to the floor. It worked, but it was set. Ridiculous.

OF COURSE, while they were there, they noticed another leak in Gage's room and the entry area by his room.

Mike think it's the air conditioning unit, so he's going back tomorrow to see if he can fix that.

I'm going to go & kiltz my bathroom and the rest of Gage's room...or what I can before heading home to shower & get ready for work the next day.

I'm hoping this 3 day, Labor Day weekend, will really get things rolling. I'm hoping to paint and get the carpet laid.

I have to buy a new fridge because the nasty one they had....that I spent over an hour cleaning, doesn't get cold. It just gets cool. Like, put a hot coke in the fridge, then an hour later, the can is cool. My cans were still "cool" the following day.

I need to buy a new stove. This house has a gas stove & I'm hoping I can put an electric one in.

I've recently been teaching Zac how to use the stove and I'm scared for him to try the gas stove. Especially out of my sight.

The pantry area was turned into a laundry area.....so I'm also looking for the apartment size stacking washer/dryer. That way we can set up some shelves and whatnot. Just to have some extra space.

I think my garage is bigger than my house. And I'm still almost more excited about it.

I can't wait to get my art stuff out and organized the way I want it!!

Anyways, I know people are so tired of hearing about the house. Believe me, I'm tired of thinking, talking about, and working on it.

I just didn't realize how time consuming it was going to be!

I'm just thankful for an awesome step dad who can do everything. He's amazing and never complains. Whether I'm asking him to fix the garage door that off track, or the back door that swings open unless locked, to the taping and bedding of all the parts of the house falling apart.

He never complains. And he has Gage right there by his side, showing him how do it all. I'm glad Gage has him in his life.

And I'm thankful that my mom is helping....and I have someone to complain with :)

Because we have been known to complain a time or two. Believe it or not :)

So, our goal is to have us all moved in by the weekend AFTER Labor Day weekend.

Wish.us.luck.weneedit.

Creepster. Uncalled for. Ridiculous.

The roofers are coming tomorrow a.m. Once they're done, we can start painting!! I'm so excited.

I'm even more excited about moving out of this place!!

It seems like EVERYWHERE I move, there is some creepy, stalkerish person there. Knocking on my door, offering to fix things, just wanting to talk.

I am anti-social, people! If I wanted to talk to you, I wouldn't head straight for the front door daily, with my head down.

No eye contact, Stephanie. No eye contact.

......knock, knock....

UGH!!!

Now, I'm not moving into the best part of town, but my aunt lives right next door and my grandma lives around the corner. Neighbors I know, neighbors I don't mind talking with.

Why am I bringing this up, you ask?

Well my current landlord/neighbor gave me creeps from the first time I met him. But he is/was? a truck driver and was gone for long periods of time, so I didn't really have to worry about him too much.

The past 6 months or so, he's been home a lot more than usual.

He would come over and "check" on us, make sure everything was working and going good. Of course, then he'd start talking about everything under the sun. I gave my best "I'm bored to death & have not a care in the world about what you're talking about" look.

He didn't get it.

He finally took the hint when I went from walking onto the porch to talk to him, to opening the door and talking to him, staying inside, him on the porch, to cracking the door open and sticking my head out.

Well, lately with the humidy, rain, whatnot, my front door has been sticking. Usually I just walk up, try to open it, it's stuck, so I kick it open....all lady-like, ya know.

Well, yesterday when I got home, I tried the kick....it didn't work. It seemed like the deadbolt was locked. I put my key in, turned....nothing. The door wouldn't budge.

I'm thinking, did he change the locks? It's not even the end of the month yet AND he said if I had to go over a bit, it'd be fine.

So, I take a deep breath and walk myself over to his house.

Ugh.

Knock on his door, he answers, and I said,"Did you change the locks on the house or anything? My key isn't working.". No, he didn't, blah, blah, he'll walk over and "take a look".

On the way I tell him that the door's been sticking, so maybe it's just really stuck.

He put my key in and turns it. We hear it lock or unlock. He tried to open it, it wouldn't open. Put the key in again.

Still, not opening.

Here comes the small talk.

"Did you bolt it this morning?"

"No, I never lock it during the day. Gage is always in & out and he doesn't have a key."

"Ya think someone's in there?"

"Uhhh, better not be."

Pushing, pushing, pushing on the door. It finally opened. The door was stuck, really really stuck.

"Oh, that's not good. I'll have to get some tools and work on that."

"mk. Well, thanks. Sorry to bother you."

I sit down on my couch to watch True Blood! I was looking forward to it all day.

All that cleaning of the other house has worn me out and I was in bed before it even came on Sunday night!!

Ridiculous.

So, it's about 10 minutes in and I hear thump, thump, thump.

Oh, Dear Lord, please don't tell me that's him.

Knock, knock.

son.of.a.bitch

So I open the door, apperently when he said he'd have to work on it, he meant immediately.

I sit down and continue watching True Blood.

He's talking the whole time, I'm just nodding and saying hmm, not listening to a word he's saying.

Then he said something about locking me out, I looked at him. He said,"I wouldn't lock you out. If anything, I'd lock you in. But then I'd probably have to chain ya up, because you'd try to get out a window or something, wouldn't ya?"

I just look at him. No expression on my face.

Silence for a few seconds, I resume watching True Blood.

"That was a joke."...."you didn't laugh"

"No, I didn't."

"Guess you didn't think it was funny."

"No."

Now tell me, people was I rude. Or is that just creepy?!?!?

In what universe is it ok to say something like that to your tenant?

I'm home by myself, he's in my house, we live in the middle of nowhere and he makes a "joke" like that?

No. Not cool, man.

Needless to say, I'm really wanting to get moved ASAP.

He's always made weird little remarks, but that was off the chart.

Ridiculous.

So, my fellow blog readers, should I turn up missing....please, look at my landlord/neighbor first, or tell the police to.

My bet would be on him.

Creep-o-la!!!!

Round 3

Well, we got a lot done this weekend!

I scrubbed the kitchen top to bottom.

My aunt Lisa steamed cleaned the living room & my bedroom walls.

My step dad fixed our garage doors. They were off track and one was missing a spring! He fixed a few plumbing issues.

Gage ripped up all the nasty carpet in his room.

This week after work, I'll be getting started on the restrooms. Ugh.

My mom & Mike have a roofer coming this week to get started on the roof!!

As soon as that's done, we can start painting!!

It's coming along a lot faster than I thought it would! Saturday I got home around 5:30. I bathed and was asleep by 6:30. I didn't wake up until 7:45 the next morning.

Today I cleaned from 10-5. I didn't get as much done as I wanted, but I still have time.

It's going to be a slow week at work, so Brenda said we could have a day off if we wanted. I'll probably take her up on that offer. Usually, I'd just work, money....duh. But I have plenty of PTO & I want to finish up the house ASAP. Hopefully I may still be able to move in by the end of the month! That would be awesome!!

I know that's major wishful thinking, but.....my fingers are crossed!

I'm super excited to hear that one of my oldest, bestest friends is moving back. Not to WF, probably Burke or Henrietta. But still....closer than Pennsylvania.

Jauque, who I've been friends with since 5 th grade! Our babies were just a few months apart. She now has 5 kids and a step daughter. OMG. But Gage & her son James grew up together. I love that boy like my own! I can't wait for them to get back!!

Hope everyone had a more interesting weekend than I did.

But I feel like we've accomplished a lot, so I'm happy :)

SIX hours. mayne!

Six hours.
Six hours, cleaning that house.
And I swear to the sweet Lord above, if you were to walk in, you'd say I never touched it.

I was excited, motivated, ready to get in there and get started.
This is me, six hours later:



That look on my face?
It's disappointment.

That brown shirt I'm wearing?
It was white when I put it on.

DUDE!!! I'm so frustrated!!

Me and Gage did get the garage cleaned out really good.
So, I was able to move all my art supplies out there.....a few less boxes to maneuver around here.
I'm most excited about the big garage. I'm totally using it for my arts and crafts and painting and all that good, fun, old people stuff!!!

My feet are swollen and hurting SO bad! My back hurts. I have blisters all over my hands. My allergies are going crazy. Man, I'm getting old.
All that cleaning was the garage, sweeping, cleaning out cabinets. This place is so dirty.

So, tomorrow morning I get to go back and start scrubbing floors, counters, restrooms, walls.
We have to fix the roof before I can paint, because there are a few leaks.
....imagine that....

So, it looks like it's going to be closer to the middle of September before I can move :(
Oh well.
What can you do?
I'm just doing what I can, and hopefully with the help of my mom and step dad we can get this house ready to go!!

:)

The stars at night, are big and bright........

....deep in the heart of Texas!!

Pictures from my family's mini vacation to Leah's new house in San Antonio.

This is my sister's mansion.....taken from down by the barn.

Ok, it's not really a mansion, but it's freaking huge. It's 3 stories. The bottom floor is partially built into the ground.

I think it's beautiful. I, myself, couldn't stand to have such a big house. I love little old houses, where you don't have to search for 20 minutes to find someone. haha.

The fountain outside the living room, beyond that, the pool with the waterfall.

Lisa and Leah making my favorite breakfast EVER!! Chorizo, potato, and cheese burritos! YUM!

Chris and Lacey. That's a typically Lacey face right there. ;)

Gavin, showing me his awesome tattoo!!

Swim time! Paw Paw came up with the amazing idea to jump off the pool house roof into the pool. So, that's all the kids wanted to do!
Yes, they are all wearing socks....they said the roof was super hot! haha.

Gage

Jack

Lucia

Paw Paw's turn!

Zac, I couldn't believe HE did it!

Later that night; Lucia, Zac, and Rachel were playing dress up. Yep, Zac's sexy.....and he knows it! Look at that sexy face he's making.
d.o.r.k.

Me and my mom were sitting out on the patio, watching some of the kids swim, then Leah kinda yelled. She said, "Oh my gosh, you scared me! I was like, I know there are not any little girls around here."


It was Gavin in a wig. My mom said her immediate thought was......yeah, that's Lacey.
Gavin looks JUST LIKE Lacey did at that age with that wig on!! Her hair was that long, always ratty, and always running around in her saggy panties.
It scared me at first too. So funny!!! Look at that little cutie pie!

Zac, playing on the iPad.

Zac wearing a wig. What's with all the boys wearing wigs? haha.
Look at his sweet little dimples!

Can you believe the only outing we had the entire time we were there, was to eat at Hooters. My mom wasn't very happy about the choice. But Gage and his friend Gunner liked the idea.

Me and my boys.
I feel like I must be shrinking!! How can Gage STILL be getting taller than me?!?! I mean, he already was...but dang....and Zac's almost already my height!! crazy.

Lucia and Zac.

Leah and Lucia

The cousins. Rachel, Lucia, Zac, and Gavin

Poor little Gavin was so tired and hungry!! After filling up on appetizers and before his actual meal got to the table, he was out!

Of course, my mom couldn't stand him sleeping on that old, hard table! haha.
So sweet.

Zac now has a new favorite place to eat. He was checking out the Hooters girls!
Me, Gage, and Gunner were discussing our waitresses bra size. Gunner said 34 A, I said no way....she's super skinny, probably 32 A.
Then Gunner said she wore too much eyeliner.
Zac asked him why was he looking at her face?
!!!! What?!?! Boy!
Then Gage said, yeah....that's a waste of time!
haha
Oh, my boys. I'm so proud.

As I was taking this picture, there were a table full of guys behind us, I turned around and said,"I'm such a good mom".

haha.

It was a good time. I enjoyed spending time with my family. There were 15 people in her house total.....can you believe that we all rarely even ran into each other. That house is massive, I tell you!

Anyways, I was glad to come home. I have so much to do still. Packing, moving, CLEANING! Ugh, my house I'm moving into......the people who lived there before me were ridiculously disgusting. I have a lot to do before I can even think of moving stuff in.
I'm telling you, if I had seen this house BEFORE I went out of town.....I wouldn't have gone.
So much to do. I'm getting started tomorrow and working through the weekend, cleaning it up. Hopefully by next weekend, I'll be able to move in.
UGH! I'm so frustrated!! It's like.....a whole other blog...this house, I swear.

So, yeah. That was my little vacation. I love going out of town, but I love coming home. It's good to be back in good ole WF!

Ohhhhh, memories and anti relationship conspiracy theories.

So, as you all should know (faithful readers, you!)

My little sister got married about 6 weeks ago or so.

I was probably about 11 or 12 when my mom & step dad (Lacey's dad) got divorced. He lives in Decatur, so we moved there when they got married. He had two nephews that, I believe, one was one year younger than me, the other a year younger than Leah.

So, needless to say, the younger ones had to play together, because the older ones were too cool.

We moved back to WF when my mom was pregnant with Lacey. I was probably 8 or 9. We would still go visit his family in Decatur. It was always fun. Ya know, the parents outside, drinking beer, the kids, running wild....doing whatever they wanted.

Anyways.....I'm getting off track of the point of this post!

I hadn't seen any of Lacey's family since I was probably 11. I did see Steven (Lacey's dad) a few times over the years. Once when Gavin was born, then he came to my Paw Paw's funeral....which I thought was really sweet. Maybe a few more times in between.

ANYWAYS......so at the wedding I was so excited to find out that Pam, Richard, and Josh were coming. I hadn't seen them in years. Josh is the cousin closest in my age, Richard & Pam are his parents.

Obviously, over the.......what? 23 years....people change. I recognized Richard & Pam right off the bat. They were adults when I'd seen them last, and they looked the same. A little older, a little thinner, but still looking good. They said they wouldn't have even recognized me, 23 years on a kid does that.

Which is why Josh had to be pointed out to me.

Double take.

What? What?

My little hellion step cousin turned into a hottie!!

Ok, so I know the wedding was like 6 weeks ago or so, and I'm just now writing about it.

But while me & my family were on vacation (visiting my sister at her new house in San Antonio), it came up.

I texted my mom & Leah and told them that I tried to get my Aunt Lisa to stop in Decatur, but she wouldn't do it!

My mom replied,"You need to NOT go there, you'll end up in trouble with that cutie pie."

Obviously, my mother & I had already had the discussion about what a hottie he grew up to be.

So I responded "haha" and she replied, "he is gorgeous tho".

True Story.

Ok, I'm going back & forth here, but after the weekend of the wedding, one of the first things I mentioned to my co workers was how good looking my "ex-step-cousin...in law?" turned out to be.

Then I was like....yeah Lacey said his wife is super sweet.

(Debbie Downer sound effect goes in here....something along the lines of,"whaaaaanwhhaaaaaa".

It was then Misti (my fellow receptionist) pointed out the fact that I am only attracted to unattainable men.

She said,"You are so anti-relationship that you only like guys that are married....or Alexander Skarsgard. "

Hey, I'm pretty sure Alexander Skarsgard is single.....is she saying I don't have a chance with him??? Rude.

Then there was the sexy Fed Ex guy that used to deliver at my job. HUGE crush on him.....yep, he was married. We nick named him FedSex. ;)

Unfortunately, he no longer works our route. Either he quit, or he said,"take me off the route where the crazy receptionist is constantly undressing me with her eyes!!"

Haha.

I laugh, but how sad would that be if it were true!

So, I told my co workers, no way! If my "ex-step-cousin...in law?" we're to get divorced, I'd totally go out with him. They were like,"really?"

Welllll, the more I thought about it, the more I realized....no, I wouldn't. He was once family.

That's weird. By blood or not, that's weird!

Then I started thinking about when we used to play and get dirty and have fun, and it reminded me of something I hadn't thought of in YEARS!

One day, we were playing in a tent in his room, and well, let's just say...we played, "show me yours, I'll show you mine". Haha.

C'mon on now! Every little kid has that other kid (opposite sex, hopefully....) that they showed their privates to!!!

He was mine. Funniest thing about it, we had been playing on walkie talkies all day.

One was in the tent with us and as we were pulling up JUST THE TOP PART of our shorts, we hear my step dad...in his deep voice......."what are y'all doing?!"

I thought we were busted! I thought one of us must have had on knee on the walkie talkie and they could hear us saying,"show me yours first".

Maybe they knew, maybe they didn't. But we didn't play that game again after that.

Although, I was tempted to see if he wanted to play the game again, at the reception. Just like old times, man! Haha.

I kid. I kid.

So anyways, point of this story is that my co workers finally brought it to my attention. I unintentionally sabotage potential relationships and I am only attracted to unattainable, unavailable guys.

But I still say if Skarsgard ever met me.... He'd totally want me.

Then I think......hmmmm, I'm actually attracted to Eric on True Blood....his confidence, his arrogance, his freaking sexiness. I'd probably be disappointed in the actual man. Because I would expect him to be just like the character he plays in True Blood.....and bite me :)

I do love being single; doing what I want, when I want, without having to answer to anyone.

So maybe I subconsciously am only attracted to guys I know I'd never have a chance with.

It's still fun to have crushes!

Besides, fantasy is always better than reality.

Now, let's be honest.....who was the first kid you swiped private part peeks with? Misti told me who hers was!

;)

I'm in the nation of procrastination

Procrastination!!

I'm moving sometime this month and I have absolutely NO motivation when it comes to packing! I packed for two days straight a couple weeks ago......then NOTHING! I feel like it should already all be packed up. How could I possibly have more to pack??

I'm looking around at these boxes that are stacked up all around the place.....but my house is still full of stuff. How does that happen??

I've thrown away so much, given away so much, have a box full of stuff for a garage sale/Faith Mission.

And a little spider just came webbing down from my ceiling....right in my face!
Don't worry, I killed it.

So, I've uploaded a million old pictures onto Facebook.....I've gone to my cousin's birthday party to paint....I've played Words with Friends, Hanging with Friends, Pocket Potions, watched True Blood (OMG! What's going on with Bill?!?!?!)

I'm off tomorrow, I HAVE to pack!! Tuesday I get Zac back from his dad's, then Wednesday we're leaving to go to San Antonio to visit my sister and check out her new house.

Ok, I'm packing tomorrow. That's all there is to it. NO Facebooking, NO Blogging, NO Words with Friends, NO Hanging with Friends, NO Pocket Potions, NO phone, NO iPad, NOTHING! I'm sticking my iPhone on the iHome, gonna blast some music and clean and pack and that's all I'm doing. That's it. That's all there is to it.





wish me luck

Awkward

Yesterday a guy came in to pick up our shred bin (containing confidential patient information). He comes every Wednesday.

When he came in yesterday I thought, he looks familiar. I think he was in my sister's wedding.

I was working, so I didn't say anything (I'm not much for small talk anyway).

But as he was leaving, he stopped and said,"Aren't you Lacey's sister?"

I said,"Yeah, I thought you looked familiar. You were in the wedding too, weren't you?"

............

"Yeah, I walked you down the aisle."

............

(random thoughts in my head)

F*ck, Stephanie, you're a horrible person!!! How could you not know that?? He probably thinks you're a total bitch. Ahhhhhh! What do I say????

...........

Me: "Oh yeah, that's right!"

him: "Well, I guess I'll be seeing ya every Wednesday."

me: "Yep. Haha. Have a good day!"

..............

Open mouth, insert foot.

My coworkers were cracking up while telling me how mean I am. They couldn't believe I didn't remember who walked me down the aisle just a couple weekends before.

I felt so terrible. But I swear, I'm HORRIBLE about remembering people I meet at short periods of times.

Faces, names.....I have no idea why, but I just can't get it until I see and talk to you on a regular basis.

I still feel bad.

awkward!!!!

I say hello....you say goodbye

Friday after work, Zac and I went Leah's to tell her & the kids good bye. Saturday morning, they left, moved to San Antonio.

She had my step dad, his son, and his son's friend loading up the U Haul. It was like, 110 degrees outside! They were pouring down sweat! I told them they looked so hot, I had to grab myself a cold beer. Haha.

Really though, I am so sad that they actually moved. They were so back and forth about going, I was secretly hoping they'd stay.

I completely understand and am still so happy for them.

They'll be so much closer to Dustin's rig. He works in the oil field and was sometimes gone months at a time. When he came home, he never knew if it'd be for a day, a week, or more. He hated to leave when it was time to head back to work. They hated to see him go.

So now, his rig is within an hour or so of their new house. Quick trips home to see him family will be more frequent. Before if he just had a day or two off, the drive back to Wichita Falls would be pointless.

So, yes...I am so happy for my sister and her family. I know Jack misses his dad like crazy while he was gone. Little boys need their daddies :)

As we were driving away, I looked over and Zac was crying. Lucia is his world, he's going to miss her so much. Last night they were able to Face time, for freaking ever it seemed like!! I was like, it's MY turn on the iPad, Zac, get off! hahaha.

In a few weeks, me & my boys, my mom & stepdad, Lacey, Chris, & Gavin, and possibly my aunt Lisa & cousin Rachel are going to visit for a week or so.
I can't wait to see them, see their new house, be off work for a week!

I've been so busy lately! I've been packing up my house because I, too, am moving. It's not the greatest neighborhood, but it's next door to my aunt and around the corner from my grandma, so that makes me feel a lot better. I'll be so glad to get back into WF and out of this country scene!! Coyotes, scorpions, tarantulas, creepster neighbor/landlord, the long drive to and from work everyday, ugh! I can't take it anymore!!
So, I'm excited!

Since Zac has gone to live with his dad, while I get my sanity back, we had to go to court today to stop child support. I swear about 40% of my life is spent in court or doctors offices.
I have ANOTHER court date the beginning of August with Gage's dad. Again, a pointless court date, where I have to clock out of work and go sit up there, knowing his dad will never pay. I mean, it's only been 6 years since I've gotten child support from him!
He's been in and out of jail so many times!
The first few times, I said, give him a chance, let him go. Now, I'm just like....keep him. He doesn't communicate with his son unless he's in jail. Once he's out, we never hear from him again.
Around Christmas I had texted his ex's daughter to see if anyone had heard from him. They're still close with Billy's family. She called around and no one had heard from him in weeks. I dislike him so much and hate what he's done to Gage, but I was praying for him. I'm still praying for him. But at that time, I was praying that he was at least alive. So, when he was put back in jail February, I was disappointed, but so happy he was ok.
He was in jail in Fort Worth for theft. But come August, he'll be moved to the jail here, since he never paid any child support from the last time we were in court.
I wrote to him and told him I was praying for him and I believe he can change. My dad and sister were both drug addicts for a long time. I know it's hard, but I also know, it can be done. I'm praying that he gets his life straight.
I told him how much he was missing out on. I mean, he hasn't seen, let alone spoken to Gage in over a year.
He had the nerve to write me and ask me to ask the judge to take it easy on him. To let him go because he has changed and Gage needs him in his life.
Dude, he's needed you in his life since you quit getting him regularly and paying child support.
He's 16 years old!! That needing a daddy phase is long gone.
Now are the days of friends, girls, cars, teenage fun. When parents are the last thing you have time for.
Needless to say, I'm going to tell them to keep him. Maybe the longer he's in jail and having to stay clean, the better it will be for him. And I will cry. Because it breaks my heart. For him and for Gage. I cry every time.
Anyways......drama, drama, drama.

BUT! Look at this beautiful picture my Zackary painted of an owl! His very first class and it is amazing!
I'm so proud of him. He has always been so artistic. I was so happy to find out about this place that has painting classes. I've been to a few myself! Fun stuff.
man, I'm old.

Anyways, yeah. There's a little update on my life up to date. :)

P.S.
Is it Friday yet?

Near death, could've been!!!!

As I lay on my bathroom floor, writhing in pain, all I could think was, 'Dear Lord, if I die, please give me just enough strength to put some clothes on first."

Yes, Monday night, I was in my bathroom for 2 hours straight. Starting on the toilet with a trash can in between my legs. Need I go into more detail? Then the stomach pains worsened, I started sweating profusely. My entire body was pouring sweat. I stripped down, feeling so weak, and laid on my bathroom floor. I couldn't move. I was seriously in and out of consciousness. Every time I tried to pull myself up I would get nauseous. I was shaky and weak and confused.

Of course, my cell phone was in the living room. I thought I was going to either die or pass out. I had to have my phone, because if I just pass out, maybe the alarm would wake me in the morning for work. But if I die, and I truly thought that was a possibility, I didn't want to be found by one of my boys, the landlord, or cops sprawled out on a bathroom floor, naked.

Eventually, (two hours later) I managed to walk/crawl/hold on to things to get to the living room and get my cell phone. I went back to my room, put on some undies and a tee, splashed my face with water and noticed.....i was pale, but my lips where white literally white. I finally made it to my bed.

My stomach still hurt, my body ached, and I was then freezing cold. I passed out.

Luckily I woke up to my alarm the next morning, feeling 60% better.

I worked all day, still with a headache, body aches, moments if nauseous ness. I went straight home and slept. And slept. And slept, until it was time for work again.

100% better.

Now I'm just trying to figure out what the hell happened.

What does it sound like?

Flu? Virus? West Nile? Food poisoning?

I have no idea.

I'm just thankful to be alive and clothed. And feeling so much better.

And tomorrow's FRIDAY!!!! Woot, woot.

I have a new brother in law!!! And I LIKE him!

Hello, fellow bloggers!!

It's been a while since I have blogged. I've been a busy girl!

Quick update:

I quit my second time job, have to take blood pressure medication (ridiculous) AND still, of course, have my Xanax on hand. But I'm doing better!

Zac moved in with his dad at the end of the school year. I miss him daily. I get him every other weekend and one night a week.

I can tell a difference in all of our lives, though....mine, Gage's, and Zac's.

Zac isn't as clingy as he used to be. I think having his dad full time was definitely a good idea. But sometimes I get sad and still second guess myself.

But my anxiety, blood pressure, patience, and sanity were on the line. I really felt like I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

That feeling is just...so not cool.

Anyways, that's an update with my life.

But you know I'm really back to tell you all about my little sister's wedding!
On June 30th, my little sister officially became Mrs. Catlin.

Words cannot describe how so very happy I am for my little sister, my nephew, and Chris.
But I'll get into that in a minute.
Here are a few pictures of the perfect wedding, perfect day.

Lacey tying Gavin's tie. He stood up at the alter with with Best Man.

Two very handsome men, my step dad, Mike, and my son, Gage.
Gage was an usher. I could not get over how good looking that boy was all dressed up.
I was a proud mama. :)

Me, the bride, and Leah. The sistas. Unfortunately you can't see, but the entire wedding party wore Converse. Cutest thing ever!! I had no problem with that. It's what I wear daily. And so much more comfortable than fancy high heels. You know, I'm all about comfort!!
The bridesmaids/maid of honor wore white converse. Lacey wore the blue color of our dresses. All the boys wore black Converse.

Two seconds into the wedding, I was tearing up. I knew it would happen. It happened the night before at the rehearsal.
But seeing Lacey's dad AND my step dad, walk her down the aisle....man.
Sweetest thing EVER! Mike has been a father figure to us all, since Lacey was 7 years old.

Me and my handsome boys after the wedding.


Marianne (my constant, reliable, and favorite date to every event I attend) and Gage.

Me and my bff. I loved her dress, she was beautiful....as always. That's like....a given, right? :)

Chris, Lacey, and Gavin coming out.....finally married. I loved that Chris carried Gavin out and they put him in the car with them, when they drove away. (or around the block and hide to take pics while everyone else headed to the reception.)
Do they not all look so happy? I love it.

Their first "self portrait" together as husband and wife.

Chris and Lacey's first dance.

Lacey's dance with her dad, Steven.

And her dance with her second dad, Mike.

I was pretty much crying the entire night. From the wedding to the reception, to the way home, then just THIS past weekend, when I texted my sis to see how their honeymoon went and to tell her how so happy I am for them. Yeah. I cried typing a freaking text message.

Wanna know what made me totally and completely lose it?
Chris, serenading his wife. He sang Jack Johnson's "Better Together" to her. I cried.
But then, he called his groomsmen up to sing a couple more songs.
He sang "Grow Old With You" from the movie "The Wedding Singer".

I lost it. Do you know me? The way to my heart is movies. My family LOVES movies, we're constantly quoting them. We'll say a line out of a movie and be like....,"What movie is THAT from??" Or hear a song and ask,"What movie is this from??"
It's fun.

So. For Chris to sing this sweet song to my little sister, was the sweetest thing ever.

Lacey's best friend, her maid of honor, also gave a speech that made me cry. She told Chris that Gavin has been going around telling everyone that his mama is a princess, and that Gavin learned that from Chris.
He treats her like a princess. He's amazing with Gavin. I could not hand pick, in this world, a better man for my little sister.
She deserves this wonderful man. So does Gavin.
I'm so happy for my sister.

And yes.....my eyes MAY be watering a little at this moment.

You're killing me, Smalls!!

So, not only did my child have a wreck the other morning, but he got shot that same night!!!
What the hell is going on???
He decided to stay the night with his friend Cory, so I took him over there. The next morning, I got up to get ready for work. To wake myself up, I take a look at Facebook, to see what I've missed while sleeping.
Yeah, that's how I found out about it. Cory posted that Gage got shot.
Apparently they decided to go hang out at the park. When they decided to leave, and were walking off, someone...somewhere, shot him with either a pellet gun or a bb gun.
What is wrong with people?
They didn't see anyone around, so this person was just hiding out....what? Waiting to shoot someone??
Ridiculous.
So, I texted him later in the day, when I knew he'd be awake, and told him to call me at work.
I asked WHY he didn't call me immediately and let me know. He said because I would freak out, and it was nothing.
I asked him if the bullet was still in him and he said no.
I called to make sure he was up to date on his tetanus and he was.
When he finally came home, he then decided to tell me that the bullet WAS still in there.
He showed me a picture on his phone....no doubt he was proud of it.



Disgusting.
So, the little hole is where the bullet went in and the X is where it was lodged. Cory's mom sterilized some stuff, cleaned it up, cut an X, and removed the bullet.

And people wonder why I'm so stressed all the time.
My boys are no doubt, going to be the death of me. I always thought it'd just be Zac, but apparently Gage wants to help him out. haha.

Once again, I'm glad my son is ok.
My mom said his guardian angel is working overtime lately.

No doubt.

I almost had a heart attack today.

I knew it would eventually happen. Everyone has a car accident at some point in their life. So, I knew at some point, it would happen to Gage.
What I did not know, was that it would be just a few weeks after getting his license.





Our road is gravel and has a lot of potholes.
Add a new driver, with an ADHD brother in the back trying to hand him a cell phone....with me on the other end, not knowing my son was already driving, and you get a truck flipped and landing in a ditch (luckily) right side up.
Can you only imagine how I felt, hearing Gage yelling at Zac to calm down, then muffled noise, then Zac saying,"I'm scared, I'm scared" and then Gage picking up the phone and saying,"Mom, I just flipped my truck."
My heart is racing just thinking about it. I was a work. I left and rushed home, crying all the way.
I am so thankful to our wonderful, loving Lord for keeping my boys safe.
I pray that this makes my son be more aware. Also that it makes Zac more aware of his behavior and realize that his actions have consequences.
I feel horrible knowing, that I asked Gage to take Zac to the youth center this morning, that I was on the person on the phone when it happened, and just that it happened, period.

His truck is still drivable. But we do need to get something fixed on in the front....don't ask me, I don't know cars (or trucks).

All I know is I'm thankful my boys are ok. And that Gage's truck will be ok, as well.
I was a mess this morning, but now that everything is said and done, I'm good....and exhausted.