True Story, My Friend.

I checked in a patient today that was 50+ years old.

He was wearing a Marvel t-shirt.

I thought....wow, that's....odd.

Then.....

As he was signing his paperwork, I noticed he was wearing a Superman RING!

I'm not kidding.

Then, as I put on his ID bracelet......I noticed he was also wearing a Mickey Mouse watch!!

WTF?!?

This guy was married. Weirdo.

As he walked away.....dude, I'm not joking...he was wearing some kind of Marvel jacket....it was either Green Lantern or The Incredible Hulk...or something.

I don't know.

Crazy, man. Crazy.

Woke up this morning....

...feeling like P Diddy.

Ok, not really. Unless P Diddy wakes up exhausted and dreading getting out of bed. I could NOT fall asleep last night! I was laying on the couch, watching Nancy Grace, possibly crying a little over the story of a cleaning guy finding a one hour old baby in a toilet after a circus in South Carolina. Ugh....I'm not even going into that right now. It disgusted me. I turned off the tv and read a little. Started to get tired, turned off the light....then tossed and turned for a good 2 hours.

I could NOT fall asleep!!

Have you ever had a song stuck in your head? Like, it's so stuck in your head, you can't sleep because you keep singing it over and over. Then you fall asleep...only to wake up (to go pee or get a drink) and start singing it again?!?!

I did that last night!

Pink Floyd..."Veeeraaa, Veeeraaa.....what has become of you?"

I don't think I've even heard this song in years. Why was it stuck in my head?

Weird.

Just grrrrreat.

Look what I did Saturday!


Yeah, I backed into a fence at my house. The fence has been there since I moved in. You'd think I would know it's there.
Nope, not me. I was in la la land. In deep thought. When I should've been paying attention.
Man. That sucks.

Pet Peeve.....

Mouth Breathers.



You can only breathe through your mouth if you are Napoleon Dynamite.



Or if you have a major cold or allergies.

Even then, it's annoying.



Learn to breathe out of your nose!!!!



just sayin'

Slap a ho.

So, now I'm at Leah's, using Lucia's laptop again. Having no internet SUCKS!!!
Me and the boys are just hanging out over here until it's time to head to church.

Yes, I need to start taking my children to church more often.
Once again I took Gage's phone away from him last night. I just wanted to start taking it away at night so he wouldn't be tempted to play on it and stay up all night.
Well, being the good mother that I am (haha) I took a look at his phone.

1. Picture of his girlfriend in a bikini top and short shorts. Uhhh, hello...belly button ring??? You're 14!! Crazy.

2. Picture of another girl (not the girlfriend) with a shirt rolled up under her bra, short shorts, finger in shorts, pulling them down a little. Uhhhhh, seriously??

3. ANOTHER girl...NOT his girlfriend, picture of her in the bathroom mirror with a bra and panties on.

Hello, Parents!!!! Pay attention to what your children are doing!!!
I may be a little too nosey...but my mom wasn't and look at me...I was getting drunk every night at age 16, pregnant by age 17, baby at 18......it's a slippery slope, people!

I mean, do these girls parents not teach them that all 14 year old boys care about is s-e-x?
If they send these suggestive pictures, boys will get the wrong idea...and that is all that they will be to them, from then on out. I mean, really....do boys want THOSE girls as girlfriends??
I think not.
And do these girls think that boys are keeping these pictures to themselves? I can almost guarantee that Gage has showed James these pictures. And other friends as well. I mean, that's what boys do!!!

I'm so frustrated right now.

Girls are too freaking fast.
Parents aren't paying close enough attention.
Boys have hormones...and I HATE it!!!

I haven't been able to think about anything else since finding these pictures last night.
I.AM.FRUSTRATED!!!

I'm about to start calling some moms.
First thing I did.....no more picture messaging on Gage's phone.

He's gonna hate me and call me the devil as soon as he realizes....but a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta DO!!

Go away, please.

Stalker. Not really, but just......there...alllll the time.

At a little corner store up the street from my house:

about 2 months ago
him: Did you get a new car?
me: (look of confusion): umm, yeah.
him: Oh, I'm your neighbor a couple houses down. What happened to your other car?
me: It's just one thing after the other, falling apart.
him: I can come down and take a look at it.
me: That's ok. I'm either going to give it to my dad or sale it.
him: Are you sure, I don't mind.
me: No, it's fine. Thank you though.

2 days later:
(knocking at my door)
him: Do you want me to take a look at your car?
me: No, thank you.
him: Alright, well, if you need anything, or if you change your mind, just let me know.
me: Ok, thanks.

A week or so later:
Coming home from going out to eat with my sis:
(outside)
him: Hey, you want a beer?
me: No, thank you though.

A few days later:
(knocks on my door)
him: I was wondering if you could call your landlord and have him call his brother. His brother is my landlord and I can't get ahold of him. My a/c is out.
me: Umm, ok?
him: Here's my number, if you'll just have him call me.
me: Sure. No problem.

landlord: Hello?
me: Hey, this is Stephanie. This guy a couple houses down says he rents from your brother and wanted to know if you could have him call you.
landlord: How does he know who you rent from...and that he rents from my brother?
me: I was wondering the same thing......
(go on to finish the neighbors business)

A little over a week ago:
(knocks on my door)
him: I see you have a flat tire on your old car, do you want me to air it up.
me: No, I don't drive it
him: Are you sure? It'll only take a minute.
me: Yeah, it has a slow leak, it'll just go flat again. I'm going to buy a new tire for it, when I get ready to sale it.
him: Ok. I don't mind helping out, if you need anything. Thanks.

Couple of days ago:
(knocks on my door)
him: Did you notice anything?
me: Yeah. You aired up my tire. Thank you.
him: No problem. I don't mind helping out.
me: Thanks.
him: I notice your lawn needs to be mowed.
me: Yeah, my son does that.
him: I know. But tell him if he wants, I have a riding lawn mower he can use.
me: Nah, the lawns not that big. He actually likes mowing it. Thank you though.
him: Ok, well, I'm Joe. (reaches out to shake my hand)
me: Stephanie.
him: Yeah, I know.
????

Later that night:
(Gage going to the dumpster in the alley to take out the trash)
HIM....standing out by my backyard fence.

him: Hey, do you mow this lawn?

Gage: Yeah.

him: I have a riding lawn mower if you ever want to use it.

Gage: Well, the lawn's really not that big. I don't need a riding lawn mower. Thanks though.

him: Ok, well if you ever change your mind....

Gage: Ok.

him: Your mom is kinda hard to talk to.

Gage: Yeah.

him: I think she's really pretty.

Gage: Yeah.

Gage comes inside...."Mom, I think we need an alarm system." and proceeds to tell me their conversation.

Ok, the reason I'm so hard to talk to, is because I don't want to talk to you and you kinda give me a creep vibe.

It's very nice to offer the poor little single mom with two boys help......it's not cool to talk to my son about me.

At all.

I don't even want to go outside anymore or answer my door!!!!

Maybe I'm a bitch. Maybe he's just a nice guy that wants to help a single mom out.

But I still get a vibe....and my vibes are usually right.

Just sayin'.

Rainy days...

It's been raining pretty much non stop since last night. I would love it....if I could stay home in bed all day. But to have to get up and go to work....ugh.

Do you know how bad it sucks to be a smoker...who is only 5'2" and can never seem to find scrub pants that aren't too long???

It pretty much sucks.

I have to go outside and look like a complete ruh-tard, while I smoke. See.......the things I do for a cigarette. :)

On another sad note.....

R.I.P. Otho (from Beetlejuice). You were a funny, funny man. :(

Oh how I loved Beetlejuice. It was one of my all time favorites when I was a little girl. And I do still enjoy watching it to this day. :)

Rollercoaster Day

Today was like a rollercoaster ride. Quite a few ups and downs.
I woke up 15 minutes before my alarm went off...feeling pretty good. Ohhh, it's gonna be a good day! :)
I got Zac up at 5:30, to take him to his Nana's. I always carry him, because I feel bad waking him up so early in the morning and making him walk. He weighs half of what I weigh...and that's like dead weight...he's getting pretty heavy. But I'm like...oh well...it's my work out for the day. :)
Well, I walked down my porch steps, twisted my left ankle, fell to right knee, and caught/balanced myself with my left arm. Needless to say, all day my left ankle, right knee, and left shoulder were hurting. ;) Good times.
I got to work and Brenda bought Gage an amp from a garage sale this weekend! The guitar my other co worker gave us is acoustic/electric! So that's exciting.
It was a busy day and I got in trouble because it was thought that I was putting work off on another co-worker when in reality I was super busy and couldn't get to that one thing. I thought I was "on the list" but, it turned out ok....I think.
I also think I have a mouse in my house! I saw something scurry behind the fridge! Nooooooo!!! I hate mice. Those dirty, squeaky, little infested things! Ugh.
But, I got home today and had THREE postcards in the mail and one of my cds...from the mixed tape swap. :) I'm super excited to listen to it!! :)

These are my postcards and CD. Top left is from Arkansas, Middle top is from Australia, right top is from Finland. The bottom is the package and CD I received, also from Australia!! Too sweet. I love when people put a personal touch to the things they send!!

I believe I'm going to love this CD because she wrote the music track on the back....some good ones!!! Nirvana, Beck, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Smashing Pumpkins, The Cranberries, Garbage.....oh yes, I will love this CD! :)

More bad news, though. This was devastating to me. I wanted to cry. I'm just at a loss for words.

My love. My true love, one and only, real love of my whole life.....was just 3 short hours away from me yesterday...and I did not know.

Had I known.....if only.....ohhh, 3 hours...what is 3 hours???? I could've easily driven THREE HOURS to see...even just a glimpse of my soul mate...Robert Pattinson. :(

Sick. It's just a sick, sick joke.

Oh, Robert....I'm so sorry you missed me......

*tear*

*sob*

*hiccup*

*sniff*

*sob*

reptile.

I'm cleaning house today! No REALLY, I am!! I was just picking up all the freaking dishes in Gage's room...which HE was supposed to do BEFORE he went to his friend Cory's house.....mhm, typical teenager!!

So, I went to put the dishes in the kitchen and something moved in my sink!! And what do I see....this little lizard...or whatever the hell it is.....just chillin' in my sink, like he owns the place.

You're kinda cute, little buddy. But no. You belong OUTside. So, I picked him up with a paper towel and threw him outside.

I'm glad Zac isn't here, he'd be wanting to keep him as a pet.

Ew.

Ok, I'm going to go clean some more now. :)

Peace out.