Once upon a time, he was the best dad ever. I was surprised by how much he cared about his son. He would get him every other weekend, for a month in the summer. He paid child support regularly. We could talk on the phone for hours, like best of friends. Like nothing bad had ever happened between us. It was for our son. That was all we cared about. All the other stuff didn't matter anymore.
Then one day he just seemed to change. He completely stopped paying child support. He slowly stopped coming to get his son. He eventually even stopped calling.
Is it worse to have a great dad, then lose him? Or not ever to have a good dad at all? Is it better to know what you're missing, or never know?
It soon came out that meth was the reason behind it all. Drugs. For 4 years, he chose drugs over his son.
We went to court over and over again, for child support. Everytime, I let him make me believe that he was sorry for what he had done. That he knew our son needed him and he wanted to get back to what they once had. 3 different times I got him out of having to go to jail. In hopes that he had really seen the pain he was causing his son.
The last time we went to court, 6 months ago, I told the judge that he will not change. Just put him in jail. Maybe it's the only way he can change. Maybe he'll have time to get the drugs out of his system. Maybe he'll have time to think about his mistakes and realize how much his son needs him. Especially now, at this point in his life.
But I guess I was wrong, once again.
Because 6 months later, at midnight last night, he was released from jail. And as of right now, we still have not heard from him.
Gage tries to pretend that it doesn't bother him. But I know it does. And it breaks my heart.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
What a disappointment.
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